Deacons Discussions Drinks

#33 - Marriage Ministry with Barbara and Eric Conklin

• Deacon Tim Stout, Deacon Dallas Kelley, Father Linh Nguyen • Season 2 • Episode 5

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The Deacons sat down with Barbara and Eric Conklin to discuss the new marriage ministry at SSFj.   It was a fun night as Slainte in Georgetown and we think you will enjoy the discussion. 

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Unknown:

Did you ever stop and think? Why spend too much time getting ready? I don't know a single thing that I haven't noticed. Then when I see you my heart starts racing, but I don't know if the length is Jason. No. It's the same thing my hands start shaking.

Tim Stout:

Today is April 9 2021. Friday in the octave of Easter. And we are live from slon tave. Hope I say the right slideshow slideshow public house in Georgetown, Kentucky. And this is deacons discussions, drinks.

Unknown:

So much that I'm still the same guy. When I see my heart starts raising, but I don't know what the length is. And it's the same for my hands start shaking. This

Tim Stout:

Hey, good evening, everybody, and welcome to triple D live from slot sludge. public house, also known as the pub in Georgetown, for what we will know will be an exciting discussion. I'm digging him. Oh, try it again.

Dallas Kelley:

I'm taking Dallas,

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

fatherland when, hey,

Tim Stout:

if you're joining us on Facebook or YouTube, please hit the like button subscribe the little bell in the bottom ring. It lets you get the notifications when we go live. So and it also helps get the word out about what's going on. So we're live for the third time in our history outside of the studio, which is a little scary. I'll be honest, because lots of stuff goes wrong. So you know, we plan to do this regularly. Did we go out on a road? But what happened? COVID COVID. So maybe next time So anyway, how are you guys doing over there? So

Dallas Kelley:

you said it was the octave of Easter. How many days is that? Ah

Tim Stout:

eight. Very good eight.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

That is impressed. Give him a beer please.

Tim Stout:

Okay, I'll have a beer. So it's an octave of Easter. It's the eighth day. Where's that eighth Eighth Day is actually the Monday following Easter. Is that right? Or does it is it the Sunday following Easter

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

is a Sunday that would octave the eighth day very unique for the ancient tradition? Because 8.2 actually even though we have seven day in a week, but by bunker have a long tradition of that.

Tim Stout:

Awesome octave. Did we survive Holy Week?

Dallas Kelley:

Yes, it actually once done several people that the Easter Vigil which is the longest of the tritium went as smooth as it's ever went since father lands been here.

Tim Stout:

That was long. That was long, for sure.

Dallas Kelley:

Hey, we got people coming in. Steve was at your first video was it was a long?

Tim Stout:

It was long. It wasn't the longest though. What's your longest? What's your record?

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

What a half hours

Tim Stout:

and a half hours. So that would have been 12 hours?

Dallas Kelley:

1230 or something like that one

Tim Stout:

o'clock.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

Almost one o'clock in the morning. Yes.

Tim Stout:

That's a long time. But aren't you glad we didn't go that long, Steve? Yes.

Dallas Kelley:

I think we had about 25 coming in here.

Tim Stout:

I had to take a day off on Monday for work. That was worn out.

Dallas Kelley:

I did too.

Tim Stout:

I know you did. We went fishing. Oh,

Unknown:

that's right. It was Monday.

Tim Stout:

It was Monday. We went fishing Monday. What do you do? Do you take off Monday? Me? Yeah,

Unknown:

yeah.

Tim Stout:

What do you do? You play golf shot of 7777 was invited to fish return so you really shot a 77 wasn't legit 77

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

legit 77

Tim Stout:

would you hit on second?

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

Yeah, then I came back after what I have a neck pain. I've been go see doctor take care of my neck.

Tim Stout:

Hey, what's the most memorable part of Holy Week? This year? For you guys? Well, me yeah for you

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

Oh man. The flies

Dallas Kelley:

Of course I don't know if everybody saw could see that Oh yeah, yes. You know we have these we have these microphones the whole microphone was covered in fly

Tim Stout:

it was nothing but black flag good.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

No, you don't know until you do a Spanish mass they multiply. And at one point I was at preaching at the pulpit so called and I feel almost like a panic attack is almost like a movie invasion by flies. On top of you have that the experience? Well, oh, yeah, I was a lot of them.

Unknown:

Wow.

Dallas Kelley:

Man was when we prostrate on Good Friday. I love that it gets to me every year,

Tim Stout:

man was on Good Friday to was carrying that fricking heavy cross from the parking lot. All the way up to wish the only the way that

Dallas Kelley:

we always guess it the way. But I like the way that's the way

Tim Stout:

it was a lot. 150 I have. I've got this bruise on my shoulder. That's just like, I already had shoulder problems. I

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

don't know that. But that that is the number one assignment. I always allow our Deacon to experience the burden. how Jesus felt. So as being a deacon, you have to have care that crucified the cross itself.

Tim Stout:

It's an experience. Yeah. So Deacon john gave me some good words of advice on the leading up to it. He says, oh, have fun

Dallas Kelley:

with how long? How long? We've been ordained.

Tim Stout:

It'd be five years, right?

Dallas Kelley:

You know, how many times I've carried

Tim Stout:

the row? a row? Yeah. Five. Is that because they work out of fit guys. That was the way that works out. Hey, if you're watching online, just so you know if there's any issues. Sorry about your luck, you should have been here live because we're actually streaming through a little square box sitting on a stool over by the window. And so if it's choppy or anything happens, you'll get the replay later on. But it's your own fault. So and I see I get a text from my wife. It keeps cutting out. Sorry, you should have been here. But we are recording it. So it'll it'll buffer up to so if you're if you're watching it, hey, just wait a little bit and let it buffer because it'll still catch up over time. So anyway, hey, we're live here. We've got some guests with us tonight. Barbara and Eric Conklin does say the right Conklin. Yes. Do you like the emphasis on the K Conklin or on the car? I

Eric Conklin:

think just Conklin

Tim Stout:

emphasize the K. It sounds to me, Barbara and Eric, welcome to the show. Thank you. Great to have you. We're we're gonna be talking about tonight, that you guys are in charge of the new I'm gonna call it new. You may not call it new. I'll call it new the new marriage ministry. Is it new? Yes.

Unknown:

Can you refer

Eric Conklin:

refreshing raised thanks to COVID it would have been less new if it wasn't for COVID. Right.

Tim Stout:

So new is relative? Because Have we ever had one before?

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

I started it

Tim Stout:

before that even before that. Do we have anything before? No, no. So this is new. brand spanking new. We're here today talk about what's involved in it. We're gonna talk about what you think about it, where it's gonna go, how it's gonna work, all that stuff, but first, we want to find out by you all. So you all get do your own introduction. So who wants to go first? Barbara, for sure. So we talk a lot. I told you, we talked long we talked, you know, 10 minutes. 10 minutes, so Okay, so that's now you're warmed up. Now what's next? What

Unknown:

do you want to know? What do you want to

Tim Stout:

start your freight journey? Pardon started birth. Started. Where were you born?

Dallas Kelley:

Remember that far?

Unknown:

Oh, no. I'll be impressive.

Tim Stout:

I always like to start. Are you cradle Catholic?

Barbara Conklin:

I am a cradle Catholic. Yes.

Tim Stout:

So you're been a Catholic your whole life. I have. Helmut Tell me about where you were born then and what your home parish?

Barbara Conklin:

So I was born in Columbus, Ohio and lived in Marysville, Ohio, small town outside of Columbus and grew up there. Got First Communion confirmation all there in Marysville, Ohio and loved my faith growing up a cradle Catholic parents grandparents had a lot of experience in depth, I guess I would say from pre Vatican kind of stuff from my grandma versus the new post Vatican two situation with a really dynamic group family group that my parents were involved in when I was really young. So I hadn't really engaged I guess Catholic. Growing up but there was not a Catholic school around us but I went to a loo In school, so it's really close. I just learned a lot about Luther versus not. Not so much about married wishes. But so so I had a lot of religious I guess, education and experience growing up. So.

Tim Stout:

So Catholic from the beginning, Eric, um, the answer to that question is no,

Eric Conklin:

no, I was not. I grew up in a Presbyterian Church in Ohio. So we actually went to the same high school, but I was from a smaller town called Oh, stranger, which nobody's heard of. Say it again.

Tim Stout:

Oh, stranger. Oh, oh, strangers. It says,

Eric Conklin:

unless you're a golf fan, or only our only claim to fame is we we had a winner of the British Open back in 2003. Maybe you've been Curtis. So I played little league with. I haven't talked to him in 25 years. 35 years, but that's our claim to fame. But yeah, I grew up growing the Presbyterian Church with my, my family and grandparents. We have very small rural church, maybe your average attendance was 30 people on a Sunday. So that's pretty small. Very small.

Tim Stout:

How big was your parish?

Barbara Conklin:

The parish, you know, idea. A few 100? Smaller than St. JOHN, I

Unknown:

would say but

Dallas Kelley:

those were considered small. Yeah, it's

Eric Conklin:

larger than St. JOHN now though. Now

Barbara Conklin:

it is. Yeah.

Dallas Kelley:

Now y'all went to the same high school was you same grade or?

Eric Conklin:

I'm a year older.

Tim Stout:

Good one. That's a good one, as he did well, because, you know, well, we'll ask you, you know, eventually, we're not trying to get your age when we ask these questions. But we'll ask the question, like, how long you've been married, you know, when you get married when you graduate? So, so you guys, both from Ohio. met in high school? No. went to the same high school but never met. How's that possible? Was it was who was too cool for who?

Eric Conklin:

And either we just but 1000 kids in our high schools and not a small not I mean, not like Scott County, but sizable. And I don't know why we didn't meet

Barbara Conklin:

different circles of friends. You know, different age groups, different circles of friends. No, I know who he was. You know.

Eric Conklin:

She was the quiet chick.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

Barbara quiet chick.

Eric Conklin:

I thought that's the only reason I knew who she was. Oh, there

Tim Stout:

you go. Father. You got somebody that can say,

Eric Conklin:

for years. sake. But she's an excellent singer, by the way. Well, I know that claim it.

Unknown:

I know that. Well. Moving on.

Dallas Kelley:

Where did you play sports in high school?

Eric Conklin:

in high school. I just played football baseball my freshman year but played basketball growing up to I mean, I wasn't the quintessential jock or the cool kid by any means either. Just that I knew her from the choir. And she had long blonde hair. Beautiful girl singing in the choir with a beautiful voice. So that's how I knew she was but we never actually asked any. I tell her story all the time. But I I don't know. We never had the occasion to meet I don't think no.

Tim Stout:

That's one of the first lessons of marriage. We just witnessed just that. of just talking characters talking about how he remembered you. I mean, just Excellent. Excellent. Thanks. So went to high school didn't really meet in high school. So when did y'all meet? how did how did this relation relationship blossom and to take the next step? Do you

Barbara Conklin:

go ahead? You're good at the story. The story? Yeah.

Eric Conklin:

She can talk about the marriage ministry, and I'll just talk about it. So the next time we interacted would have been good friends of ours got married, and we were both in the wedding party, which would have been a year that was 2000, roughly a year after I graduated college, even our age way, I don't care. And so we actually escorted each other down the aisle and their wedding. Which sounds like a really good romance story, right? Except for we were both dating somebody else. And so we I distinctly remembered it and talking to my friends who were in the wedding party about how lucky I was that I got to escort her down the aisle. But we were both in relationships with other people that time, so we never, never made a connection there. I

Tim Stout:

guess. So that you all met at a wedding? Wow. Yeah, I'm seeing a recurring motif every time.

Dallas Kelley:

At the wedding. Did you know you went to the same high school? Yeah.

Barbara Conklin:

Yeah. But the better part is when we met again, really met?

Eric Conklin:

Yeah. Is that our relationship start? Yeah. Well, there was one time before that. Yeah.

Dallas Kelley:

There was really Matt, what does that mean? What does that mean?

Eric Conklin:

Yeah, when our relationship started, so ironically enough, now that we're in Kentucky, we we met at a Kentucky Derby party in Louisville.

Tim Stout:

But you were living in Ohio.

Eric Conklin:

She was I? Was I still living with them? No, I think I was living in Ohio. I had friends I lived with for six months when I trained for my first job out of college in Louisville. And then I think I'd be back to

Barbara Conklin:

the same friends that we walked on there. Maybe

Eric Conklin:

we were in our wedding couple.

Tim Stout:

And they're still still married. Oh. Hold on. I think I might have a sound effect for that. There is a sound of everything. Oh, I gotta turn it up though.

Eric Conklin:

Definitely Derby party and we actually went to the infield of the derby that day, and we just kinda hit a lot. They didn't hang out all day. And they started talking and then I called her. But it's been a long time since I've been single, obviously. But yeah, there's got to be a real you wait a certain number of days I called her like, like we saw each other Sunday after the derby. I called her like Monday or Tuesday. I

Tim Stout:

can't remember. I mean, there's rules. There's rules for when you call people supposedly. Did you know that? Did you know that?

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

The unwritten rule, right?

Unknown:

I didn't know because

Eric Conklin:

I distinctly remember telling myself I needed to wait longer, like you don't want to look too anxious. Right. But I couldn't wait longer. I called her and asked her out for the next I think the next weekend.

Dallas Kelley:

And she said no, because you know, she said, Yeah,

Tim Stout:

he's pushing. I can't believe he's calling. It's only been 48. Yeah. So the rest is history. So y'all dated through? That was after I was after college. So.

Eric Conklin:

But a little less than two years, I

Tim Stout:

guess. Yes. We got married. So it took you a while to work up to that two years, a long time? Well, we

Barbara Conklin:

took a little break in there, too. I was going through some my parents were actually getting divorced at the time. So we took a break. And all of this kind of feeds into the story of all this, you'll heal here and later. So we did take a break because I needed some time. And then we realized I was mistaken and needing that time, and I needed him more.

Unknown:

Bam.

Tim Stout:

Does that make you feel good? It's all good. Awesome, awesome. Awesome. Awesome. So let's, let's just talk, let's just jump into it. Let's let's talk about the marriage ministry. And you all can weave in your story. Anytime you feel like it's it's relevant. You know, Dallas has been married a long time to how long you've been married. 39 years. 39 years, just 30 for me, just the states been married while you've been married back here at 22. He's He's a novice, but he has his triplets. So he's on his path to sainthood.

Barbara Conklin:

That makes it like exponential years or something. dog years, right.

Tim Stout:

So now you take him out of surgery. So he's been married 66 years. So we we've got this marriage ministry that you guys were working on when COVID hit and just like everything else that happens with COVID. Things get stopped and co chat start start over. And I know you, Dallas, and I've actually been talking to you about it as well. But go ahead and tell us what is the marriage ministry.

Barbara Conklin:

It's an evolving thing right now, but to how it got started. I father Lynn, I went to him, I guess it would have been the fall of 2019. And I said, Father, you know, I feel like something is missing. Eric and I went through this incredible experience with another church group, and not from St. John's from a different church. In fact, part of the reason we're here at launch the public house is because Matt nationally none the owners and proprietors here were the people that got us involved in that group. And it was an incredible experience for us to go to this couples camp. And then we started a small group with multiple couples that would get together once a week and talk about some spirituality things, as well as things that you're dealing with as married couples, and how to kind of build on that and how God can be a part of that. And how to increase your faith and work together as couples and we just loved it and really got close to those couples and thought, why do we not have something like this and St. John's, I started doing research couldn't find anything Catholic anywhere. Really, that was kind of similar to what we were looking for. So I met with fatherland. He's like, yes, we need this. Because when people come to me, it's too late. And he said, Here's that you said yes. He said, we need to do this. Yes.

Tim Stout:

As long as you don't. Yeah, you tell us no all the time. But what you say yes. When you don't have to do anything? No. It has to be grounded. grounded. So he said Yes, he did was it and you made it sound like it was a very emphatic, he was

Barbara Conklin:

emphatic. It was very important. He honestly right then in there, he came up with other couples because I said I can't do this by myself. I'm helping. I'm happy to kind of get it started. Eric is very supportive. I think, Well, you know, we can initiate this but we need help. And I think it'd be better to have a variety of ages and, you know, some multiple different types of personalities. And he's like, Okay, here we go. Todd and Karen Edwards. they're new to the parents. They want to get involved. They're right here. Hey, Todd, and Karen. Thanks. And he said they want to be involved. get them involved. How about you know, here's heroin and dad solid couple older they have some experience. Nick and Rebecca can't say their last name. schmell love.

Unknown:

That's close enough.

Barbara Conklin:

Okay. Great. Younger couple. No Kid. Absolutely.

Unknown:

Got

Barbara Conklin:

Jessica and Matt McQuaid who just had a baby today. Congratulations. Again, man. Right, yeah, another third girl, great couple, but as their family that's from here, so they have a lot of connections. But again, they're a little younger than us. We had almost four or five different generations or not generations, but decade's worth of couples with a wide variety of experiences. And Father literally came up with those and so I think it was Holy Spirit working through him there. Then Then all of them said yes, let's we would love To meet we had a meeting last January 2020. Everyone was excited. We had a potluck, open it up to the parish did a survey to see if there was still an interest level. People were excited. People wanted to be involved. They wanted to be engaged. We had about 20 different couples come to the first potluck. And I think it was a great time. So and from that we did more surveys and then had a second meeting planned here at slaughter the pub. But that was the day things got shut down

Unknown:

the day

Tim Stout:

sports dad, was it that day? Yes, it was. I was. I was in Vegas that day. It was it was bad. People in the sports book were like, looking for the tops of buildings or something it was, it was really, really bad. So just I almost want to key in on something. You know, you said Father said something that said when people come to you it's too late. Yes. And it happens all the time. I mean, Catholics aren't the divorce rate for Catholics is not any less than the average anywhere

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

else. People may the experience kind of said, you know, they only want priests to do a like a magical potion. yabba dabba Doo and all sudden, everything walk away. And by the time you know, we sit down, then you know I have to have it come to Jesus talk. already broken. toe. That's why. And Barbara and Eric brought this idea up as a perfect that we, I want to make sure we become a preventive you know, bear is supposed to be fun, right? It is sad. Every time I preached, there was a wedding, I celebrate. And I preach about it. You know, there are more jobs, have fun at marriage, and actually celebrate how beautiful it is, you know, tragic. I say Who the hell want to get married. You know, it's a beautiful things and, but nobody talks about it. Nobody cultivated you know, as priests, you know, we all retreat. We our support group, we do once a week, once a month, everything we take to make sure we are on fire, we love what we do. Nothing about marriage is the most beautiful. It's one of the greatest sacrament in the church to be exact. And it was sad. So when YouTube came in, and it's a perfect sucker. And that's how it came about. And you guys witnessed the first meeting was powerful. It was love.

Dallas Kelley:

He didn't say a few times, but he tells us behind a couple of songs.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

Right, you know, with with Todd, and Karen, you know, all of that is so powerful. And we have to share that. You know what I was in PI in Danville, I start a man support group, that how to be a dad how to be a good father. So I got all the young guy taking the older guy for mentor worked out great. And now we have opportunity to create the entire relationship man and woman in that way. And it is that said, I'm telling you it's a good

Tim Stout:

it's, it's interesting, because obviously, we haven't had a marriage ministry at St. Francis of john, there is a ministry at the das diocese and level, more family life than marriage, per se. But there's a lot of marriage prep and stuff down. And I've been a part of that. And so when when you guys were talking about they were like, hey, yeah, we get we see all these couples coming in. We've not yet told one couple not to get married or just doesn't have it doesn't doesn't happen anywhere. Right? Everybody's compatible when they come see us. But they take the 160 question survey, and you can tell when they sit in the same room and fill out the questions together. Right. You

Unknown:

can see when they're like 99%

Tim Stout:

Yeah. Oh, wow, you guys are really compatible. Yeah. But you know, marriage is so much more than that. And I think I think focus does do that's the name of the program focus. I think it does do a good job of cultivating questions that that engaged couples haven't asked each other haven't talked about, you know, and they can be some simple things like that's how much money you want to spend on pets. Right? You know, people don't really think about that a whole lot when they're getting married or when they're engaged. But that's a problem. Like, if Eric wants to spend $1,000 on his honey dog because that's, you know, it's his hunting dog. I should use Dallas in this example, because he does have dogs, right? your pets. Do you all agree on how much money you should spend to save the life of a pet?

Eric Conklin:

We have a set budget but we've had the discussion. Yes.

Dallas Kelley:

I heard I've seen that on a sitcom. One of the I think it was last man standing I don't know if you've ever seen the the biggest argument and married couples live is how much money to spend. To save a pet you know, the man's looked up total is always lower.

Eric Conklin:

harbor is very practical in that respect.

Barbara Conklin:

It depends on which dog.

Eric Conklin:

You keep trying to kill one.

Unknown:

Well wishes

Dallas Kelley:

I got to laugh What are you I

Eric Conklin:

live in a beagle. The Beagle adopted us when we were still in Oldham County. But he's too smart for his own good. He's better now. He's old and lazy with

Tim Stout:

Oldham County. That's interesting. That's where Kelly's from we Kelly, Kelly, and I lived there for a while. So what part of the story? Yeah, well, we'll circle back on that. But which dog does Barbara want to kill? The Beagle?

Barbara Conklin:

I don't want to kill the dog. I wouldn't be sad if you ran away.

Eric Conklin:

We do a user of that.

Tim Stout:

Everybody has one of those pets. Right? We have a dog that knows we farm out to our youngest son in law because he takes such great care of it. But yeah, and so when the doorbell rings, or there's a dog or something on TV, or in peace and quiet, it's really

Barbara Conklin:

ugly. That's exactly the

Eric Conklin:

issue isn't cameras. But you know crazy about them.

Tim Stout:

young married couples don't talk about those types of things. They don't talk about White House, they don't talk about money. what's what's your biggest thing you think they don't talk about when you when you're dealing with out?

Dallas Kelley:

I mean, just a whole whole lot of questions like that. Who's going to who's going to not just the money, but who's going to control who's going to pay the bills. But in that focus thing we do? All them questions are in there, you know,

Tim Stout:

but they're all in there. And they generally somewhat agree. What we try to do is spur conversation, right? And so we just want to make sure that they're talking about we know that nobody when they when you send us a couple we know they're not they're going to get married, right? It is not not good. Has it ever happened? You've seen that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, we haven't seen it happen. But here hasn't happened here.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

No, have it in Danville. That was a couple came in to bid me and I interview both of them and as you know, because I can't stop them for get married. Right. Right. But I you know, my very frank straightforward, I say I made a bet with you. What would you vote in six months. I was wrong. Three months. And so it kind of dragging you that the kind of thing for me why this program is so important that we somehow couples when they get married, and they they become a kind of a social media public, you know, at the wedding make very beautiful and all that. And after the wedding is done, they shove into cocoon to themselves nearly said they have no support system. You know, the thing do you be surprised you guy go through with your wife just like they will go through their wife and you to go to a same thing. But nobody share about that. You know, it's almost your own your own. It kind of for me from the church point of view is so contradict to the kind of live of communion live husband wife ought to live

Tim Stout:

on social media. Definitely. Yeah, it's reverted. It creates an image of marriage. It's not accurate. Yeah, except for Dallas, Dallas and Sherry, they never argue, right? We we've heard this a million

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

I deal with with with, you know, counseling to couples that they also lonely. You know, they have a partner. But you have to live so lonely. Or each other it tragic. So hopefully this program is not you know, like I say I want to push that it's not about high theology or anything like that, about practicality. How to be there for one another? How to support each other how to take each other out for a date. God, somehow couple forgot about that.

Dallas Kelley:

Honey, if you're listening, we're gonna fight when we get home just to make him happy. But one of the one of the questions I

Tim Stout:

may not be sure.

Dallas Kelley:

Every engaged couple the first question when the report comes back to me, I'll scroll up and try to find and always make sure I bring this up and make it a point. The question is worded something like, I hope after we're married, there's something about my spouse out I want to change you know, whatever it is, and and quite a few of them you believe will say yes. And now I make it a point to tell him. No. When you say I do, however your spouse is, that's what you're getting. At the Abdu you better be hoping that you can put up with that, whatever. Whatever it is, you want to change, because they're not changing, you know, and you shouldn't if you you know if you don't if you want it to change so bad then you say No, I don't. Not I do. I always make sure I go with it. But

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

that is the heart of what Christian love is right. Seek it the good As an author, you know, Barbara say I love Eric, we take everything about him good and bad, good and bad. You know, that's what he is that we want to change, or Barbara, Barbara, or vice versa.

Tim Stout:

It's funny because a good friend of mine got divorced. And he was going through the divorce, he came up to me and he said, hey, let's go out for beers. We went out for a beer wasn't here, went out for a beer. And he said, you know, we just want our lives. I just want our lives to be like you and Kelly. You know, you guys never fight. And he described my marriage to like, a man Oh, man. That's that. And I'm not saying that everybody fights in our marriage. But there are disagreements, and you have to figure out how to how to problem solve, and, and you also have to know that that marriage is perfect. And I think that's probably one of the goals here is that you want people to experience or be able to relate to people that that have gone through some some issues, whether they're younger or older, whatever.

Unknown:

Yeah, exactly.

Eric Conklin:

Yeah, that's what we've tried to, we've had a lot of discussions about how to create the groups where we're gonna look at doing small groups and mixing in larger events, but we're trying to be strategic about that to give you an fatherly mentioned, and he did the same thing with with trying to help us form the Leadership Committee call it you know, people with multiple generations, different life experiences that you can rely on each other. So it is like father Lindsay had very much. That's not a study about theology, or scripture readings, that we're gonna try to incorporate some of that it's about building a community building relationships, so that we can help each other in times of need. I mean, we all go through different things. Like you said, nobody's got a perfect marriage. And then Brad tried to sit up here as leaders of the committee trying to say, Hey, be like us,

Barbara Conklin:

oh, we're certainly not

Eric Conklin:

sure all of our faults, share our stories and help everybody learn and benefit from that experience. So we're not alone to your point.

Tim Stout:

But in in a roundabout sort of way. I'd argue that you are trying to say be like us, and what I mean by that is, you know, we know people have issues, right? We know you have disagreements, it might be how you raise your kids, it might be about financial issues. It might be you know what mass you go to on Sundays, right? I mean, it there's can be a lot of issues, but it's how to work through those issues, and how to process those issues and not give up? Well, I mean, we're in a society today, that just wants to give up on everything. Exactly. Instant gratification, right? You see the billboard, I think there's one of actually over here on Broadway, divorce $99. Man, that's pretty easy. Yeah, pretty, pretty cheap. And you know, that's what people in this culture are trying to and and even there's, there's now a propensity for people to say they don't even want to get married at all, to your point, what you were taught about with marriage, and what a beautiful thing it is. And I think that's what we need, that we're called to be as witnesses to what Christian Christian marriages is all about?

Barbara Conklin:

Absolutely. I think that's a huge thing that can not only I mean, we talked about it in your the lumen gentium, quote, where the family, the church of the family is the home church, the domestic church, and that starts with the married couple. So who are we to deny that God is calling us if marriage is a vocation, and that sacramental marriage, we are able to bring forth? God, you know, it is a beautiful thing in that he's in the midst of this. And then trinity of us is God's at the pinnacle. And when we can rely on him and rely on each other, it allows for beautiful growth and a way to parent a way to be a good friend a way to be good to the community, and how can we share that? And so that's kind of what we felt like we experienced in that small group. I don't know if you want to share some of the things you felt like we got out of

Tim Stout:

it. This was at the small group at the other church, correct?

Unknown:

Yeah.

Eric Conklin:

First, can you tell who's getting your master's in theology?

Tim Stout:

I was gonna say there. Barbara threw out some pretty don't say hi, theology. Pretty on the scale. It was above five.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

See, I don't know mannequin training. That's right. Okay, do minigun train.

Unknown:

I'll keep it down. Smell by up.

Barbara Conklin:

Bring it back down to your base.

Tim Stout:

You know, the question was

Eric Conklin:

talking back to our

Unknown:

berries are now

Eric Conklin:

talking back to our small group with Matt nationally,

Unknown:

yes.

Eric Conklin:

But to us, the biggest benefit was one that it was an intimate group. Because you've got it, you got to build a comfort level with other people before you're going to be willing to be open about perhaps the dark side of your marriage or the things you're going through, right, you're not going to share that in a group of 50 people most likely, unless you're very, very open person, and most of us aren't going to be like that about our relationship. So it's developed, developing into intimacy, being Christ focused as part of that, and really kind of building this relationship so you can bury your soul. So the soul of your marriage a little bit that way you because you can't really help build each other up unless you show vulnerability. So it's to us it's really about about trying to build that here.

Tim Stout:

And I think that's, that's that's part of it right you have to have your marriage has to be based on love, first of all, but when you're in a small group, you bring love, obviously. But in that setting, too, you also bring your faith, right? You share certain morals and ethics. Hopefully, when you're meeting in a Christian Christian group, this was a Christian nondenominational Christian. Yep. So, you know, that's one of the things you know, that I, that I see with with younger people today. I couldn't be more specific, but I won't be just because they might be listening. But what I see with young people today is that, that they don't have that foundation of Christ and what that means not just in, in your life, like what's the purpose of life, but also in, in in marriage, and not trying to get half theology or anything, but it's something that when you have a belief, or both of people believe in Christ, then when there's difficulties, you can go back to that love that foundation. And call on that to help you go through cycles through the problems and that intimacy happens. It doesn't mean it's perfect all the time. But it does happen inside the marriage. And when you've got somebody outside, obviously, that was, that was something that really triggered something for you guys.

Eric Conklin:

Yeah, we were inspired by it to be sure.

Tim Stout:

Inspired meaning and

Eric Conklin:

inspired to try to replicate that here. And again, we're not trying to copy necessarily what they're doing, but to try to share that experience and build this foundation. And to me, it's it's part of building our community as a franchise and john too, it's not, you know, marriage is the focus. But I think one thing unique about our church and our school is that the school connects a lot of families and people. But outside of that for for couples, it's a bit hard to get connected, I think with you know, especially now obviously with under normal circumstances, you go to Mass you go home, maybe you get involved Knights of Columbus, which is great for men. Now, there's the the double nickel club, but again, it's for couples in time care to perfect example we were when we came in, you move in you don't know anybody. So it's hopefully, again, not just building and supporting marriages, but helping you build and support our community so that we we connect new people and they introduce make introductions. Just keep building that foundation.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

But that that's the piece, Eric is oftentimes we say, Okay, we have married, we have a single we have a church, we have non church. But the fundamental ground in the church life is marriage. Because marriage bring communion. Good, right? We bring us together. Okay, if if your family, husband, wife, so happy with each other, naturally, the church be happy. You know, if Todd and Karen be happy with one another, the moment they come to church, you could not help it be but infecting those who want to be that way. Yeah. We call it the discipleship of live witness. You see, it kind of built together. You know, if I'm a priest, I hate it. And sucky and shitty forget. People will say, I don't want to go to church. You don't say if you go to church, you sit next to a couple they bickering each other? You said The hell with it and move on. You're not going to talk to him. Right. But the other day I was somebody referred to me there was a couple being here probably three years now. And they could not find way to connect. And they almost want to move on in our in our corner church. That, isn't it? So therefore, they know this. This ministry I think is very important, is a conduit that that draws people closer. And then it just, that's what we meant to be that what crisis right? beyond anything, eternal life, resurrection, all of that good stuff it pointing to being with each other. That's it.

Eric Conklin:

Yeah. We want this to be a solution for people like that to come into the parish, we have spoken with a man right?

Tim Stout:

Yes. And we just have a saying here, one of the consultants that we are belonging leads to believing, you know, and so when you have a sense that you belong to something, whether that's, you know, school, the school for us, for our parish is a big part of that, right? parents get hooked, or they get their kids involved. And there's a lot of good families in there, and that's part of it, but then they go off to high school and then they're like, okay, now, yeah, it's a smaller window. So you know it. I think this is a good way to bridge and bridge that gap for sure. So that's a great idea.

Eric Conklin:

I'm feeling some pressure, more pressure.

Tim Stout:

Pressure. If it fails, it's your

Barbara Conklin:

God is in control.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

That's important. Right? Well, you know, in the end, God is in control. Right? We, we make sure a Saint Francis say make sure and become a good instrument of it.

Tim Stout:

Yeah, absolutely,

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

hopefully conduit for that good news.

Tim Stout:

It's just like a homily. Right. It's not our humble he isn't. It's got it's God's homily. So they'll complain to him. And if this doesn't work out, don't don't blame Eric. Blame.

Unknown:

Don't blame neither.

Dallas Kelley:

Do y'all this just for married couples? Or could have engaged couples come to come to?

Barbara Conklin:

We have talked about that. And again, I think it's important to note that this is it as a newer organization or group ministry. It's, it's organic, and it's it there will be changes as we grow and develop and and how that works. And that is something that we've talked about for sure. That potentially some a couple who's engaged who has a marriage date on the calendar that perhaps they could benefit from, that'd be a great lead into them, maybe continuing and building relationships with other couples in the church.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

It was one of my my pet peeves. I need to launch this to any young couples that go through prep, married preparation with me, one of my expectation. Sure you have a mentoring couple?

Barbara Conklin:

Well, that's absolutely something we could be. That could be part of Exactly, yeah. So

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

therefore, you know, I say, here's the list of great couples, I want you to know them and select them with mentoring. I can easily benefit for me to use by the Ministry to promote that.

Tim Stout:

How many of those great couples do we have? Oh,

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

we got plenty. The problem we don't share. We don't talk about it. You know? I did I'm sure. Jason has a great couple. But we never tap into them. Great couple is not you know, like you got you guys been husband. We've been through a lot. Oh, yeah. To hang. Oh, yeah.

Tim Stout:

Well, not Dallas.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

Oh, we have a flowers over there. as well. So hey, now,

Tim Stout:

I mean, there's I mean, we I kid Dallas, because just that but you know, you've been through a lot. Heck we he's kind of my my mentor couple, right, we talked to we have we have a support search, we talk to each other about things. And a couple, every couple needs that ability. And the ability to me to do that inside your faith, just because of the shared values because you can go get I mean, it's the first thing like when somebody says, Hey, I want to go get counseling, first thing I do is tell them call Catholic Charities because I don't want to go to talk to somebody just, you know, some secular random person, because they're not going to get the teachings of their faith, they're going to get steered in a direction that the secular world wants them to go. And a lot of times that's, that's the quick app, like we talked about earlier.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

Yeah. For me, this this ministry have a great potential, like Barbara say, is a great organic as she grow into the character of what she meant to be. And for me, personally, our parents, we have a lot of young couple, so many young, that are so busy trying to raise kid, at the end up forget about lationship Oh, that's dangerous. Yeah, I

Eric Conklin:

was gonna say that earlier when somebody says about going on dates, timber, Dallas, but we've talked about that, when we have a hard time with an arc has already been that young anymore. But unless you specifically try to make that a goal or a focus of your relationship, and just you get to a point in life, when you've got young kids, it just doesn't happen. And it's, you know, your relationship suffers because of it.

Barbara Conklin:

Yeah, you forget about each other focus on the kids and their life becomes the priority. But honestly, part of that small group situation for us was it made us have a date night. So we would go out to dinner beforehand and have dates to ourselves and then go to the group time away from our kids. So it did it, which was we almost needed that because it's otherwise you just we tend to

Eric Conklin:

just almost Yeah,

Barbara Conklin:

yeah, we were like, oh, there's this activity and this activity in Friday night. We're exhausted. But it's so important. And you got

Tim Stout:

as parents, we're training our kids. Yeah, how to be married. You know, we might not even think of that. But you know, they're watching they're watching they want to and you know, Dad treat Mom, how does mom tree Dad I mean, it even when when folks do get to the point where they're divorced. To me, that's the most important point that's some of the things I shared with some of my friends who have gone through divorce is that, you know, your, your sons and daughters are going to learn how to treat their spouse, their future spouse based on how you treat their mother or their father, they're watching you. And if you're doing that from a faith based perspective, you'll you'll plant the seed hopefully that will mature and grow and prepare them for marriage down the road. But it's just as important no matter where you are in your marriage, even if it's if we're talking about it ends in divorce. It's still important to be faith based and portray that that out

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

but that there is a piece I want to throw it out. When I work with I was addressing The ongoing formation for clergy for priests not Deacon, that they need a lot of help. But that's beside the point. Right?

Tim Stout:

You showed up for a meeting.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

So I'm done with that. But there was a program we call it father Ron nod from lovo developed program called the intentional perpetuate, we have to be intentional with that there was a lady for godhood the others who wrote a beautiful book called The intention of discipleship. Bear sampling, you have to have an intentional good if I truly love you, I have to intentionally love you. In other words, everything I do everything I commit to had to have an intentional it's not a random act of sporadically You know, it disaster. So, you know, for is to last for you to joyful, we had to be intentional. That's why with this program, I like it when you say, Oh, yeah, now we have a date night. that's intentional. You know, for me, here's my secret how I'm able to pray through the day by iPhone is my best friend. I program onto it when she say Ding, ding, I'm gonna pray, stop and pray. Five minutes. No biggie. No, we have to have intentional elves. This war we're gonna eat by and it's already. And so keep on keep on

Eric Conklin:

everything in life. And that's everything in life.

Tim Stout:

So let's, let's talk a little bit real quick about formation of this marriage ministry. Small Group, big group, what's what's your thoughts? What how's it gonna work? Well,

Barbara Conklin:

this survey showed that most people were interested in small group on a monthly basis, and potentially larger groups on a quarterly basis. So the team, the committee has kind of met and decided we're gonna move forward with small groups and putting those together, and we have a list of people who are interested back in 2020, that we're going to reach out to, that may not have been in touch with us since then we have a new list of people who took the survey, because we read sent out the survey, since the things have changed a lot. And and taking those responses. And Nick and Rebecca are graded on that computer stuff and kind of made graphs for us, it was great. So we could see really what people are interested in. So we're moving forward with creating small groups, we have some leaders, people who are interested in being small group leaders that were in the process of training. So last, about about a month ago, Tim was able to come into one of our committee meetings, which was kind of a practice run of what a small group will look like. And then this weekend, we have some of our potential leaders coming to also observe and take part in what a small group will look like. So Tim, I'd love to hear kind of, you know, what, what did you experience from that small group?

Tim Stout:

No, I mean, I think I think the structure of that is is good. I mean, your icebreaker was, was really good. Oh, there we go. Your icebreaker, I think it was important. And I think that's one of the things when small groups I'm always reminded of, of Dallas and as previous spiritual Decker father, Bob, he actually stopped when he heard small group he used to run it had, because there's a lot of people that are afraid of that they'd rather be in a big group and not have to contribute. But in this case, you want people to contribute. They have to feel comfortable with that. And that's an important part of it. Right? That that you talked about that intimacy, that relationship? And that's not something you just form? Right from the beginning, right. It's gonna take some time to do that. But I feel very comfortable. Kelly, you know, I'll speak for Kelly, because I don't think she could get her string door tonight. So I'll speak for she'll watch it later. Would you say Peters? Yeah, she's, you know, I think she felt comfortable, which is, which is important for me, you know, because she says, I'm the extrovert. She's an introvert. So, you know, and that happens in a marriage, right? You know, one person is either more outgoing versus not, etc. But they both have to feel comfortable, and they have to develop a relationship. And that takes that takes some time. But I think the focus on on prayer, a big part of it has to be prayer. I know, when Dallas and I first talked about this, you know, in we met for breakfast, one morning, where we talked about that, you know, Dallas said, Hey, we are going to, you know, we do want to talk about what the teachings of the church are right? It's gonna be based on the teachings of the church, which is important, right, Catholic teaching is an important part of any ministry that's going on in this church. So I'm excited about it. I think it's to me COVID has caused a lot of issues with families, adults trying to interact with each other, right. We've been basically told to stay home isolate, even though we're out here, out here to bar drinking, drinking beer. But that's, that's different right then than it has been and I think a lot of relationships, kids have relationships. You might see people at a sporting, you know, another couple at a sporting event, but that's different. That's not what we're talking about. Here. We're talking about getting people engaged to talk about what what being a parent is about what being a spouse is about. So, I like I like the structure, I think it's positive.

Barbara Conklin:

So we're gonna, we're gonna follow that and kind of definitely touch on that. Like teachings, what is the sacramental marriage? And what does that mean? But break it down in a more realistic way and, you know, keeping it ground level that, hey, this is what a sacramental marriage means. Maybe define that, but but how does that work in your life? Right? What is what do you do for each other? How

Eric Conklin:

do we we don't want to get too formal either the point of intimacy that people aren't going to you're not going to feel comfortable and open up. And if it's a very formal structured meeting every every month, I think it's gonna be harder to accomplish that.

Tim Stout:

It'd be like the Knights of Columbus. Are you a knight? You're not a knight or you know, you're never on the list. You're not a nice guy who's

Eric Conklin:

in charge right now.

Tim Stout:

Okay, I have a chart your chart? We want to wait to June 1 to July 1. That's right. No,

Eric Conklin:

I've been scheduled like three times they all got canceled. So

Tim Stout:

what's on my last one was COVID spalter. Yeah, you go from first to Third Reich, boom, like that. So did you know that we changed all those?

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

I know, I'm the last one to be informed.

Tim Stout:

He doesn't know.

Barbara Conklin:

So that's what the deacons told me. Actually, when I approached them about the management. They said, well, they he doesn't tell us anything.

Eric Conklin:

He's on his phone. Oh, he's just like a teenager over there.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

Oh, it's the only information communicate by what I need them.

Unknown:

Oh, okay. I don't want you to know.

Dallas Kelley:

He needs me.

Tim Stout:

Dallas up playing golf Can you do that does that only happens every once in a while. Everyone's at that

Dallas Kelley:

hotel on the course. Now, the next time I meet, you're coming up with a meeting and you want to promote it we need, we really need one of you to come up or mass on that little fortune we have there and promote it. Because when we promote it, it just basically gets read. Okay. And now admit we don't do a very good job. We need y'all to really push it really well.

Eric Conklin:

That was last year didn't mean right before.

Tim Stout:

I do remember the dashboards and whatnot. And I actually remember Kelly actually remember that. So I think that's something I want to be a part of. So no, I mean, it does. You know, they see us all the time. So

Eric Conklin:

yeah, wanna kill the flies? First, please.

Unknown:

Yeah, we did. We

Barbara Conklin:

did see that on TV. Actually, they were swarming. We could we could see it. But we I will say that because of COVID. Still, right now, most of the people indicated on surveys that most were interested in person, small group, but not necessarily a large group yet. So to start with small groups, we can still promote the ministry and let them know what's happening and to reach out, but here's the what, who you contact, we get a part of a small group, but those will probably start within the next month or so. But as far as a larger group event, we talked about doing a refocus kind of thing with the deacons. But again, that might be a few months out still.

Tim Stout:

Are you certified and rereading, refocus by paper,

Dallas Kelley:

maybe in one, I

Tim Stout:

don't know that. Maybe we could have a small group here at slot Cha, right? slash cha. Cha. The pub just called the pub that way, you can't screw up the pronunciation. It's the pub. Small grew larger. You see that pavilion I buy? Yeah, that'll hold a lot of people. And, Steven, I talked about this before next time we do a live show. We're going out there because they don't have an elevator here. And there's a lot of boxes and stuff up there. But no, I mean, it's it's getting a small group in an environment that works. Right. And sometimes that might be at the pub. Sometimes it might be at somebody's house. Right. Right.

Barbara Conklin:

Right. And the idea I think was kind of rotate houses, but each group can design that themselves. So you know, we're we want to empower the groups to kind of give them a guideline of things to say and follow and read through and pray together. But also empower them to make their decisions. You know, when you want to meet where you want to meet how that operates. Some groups may be babysitting situations, some may not.

Eric Conklin:

I thought you meant babysit the people in the group.

Unknown:

But no, so yeah,

Tim Stout:

there's some people I saw the signup list. There are some people on the list that they saw babysitting. What put them

Barbara Conklin:

in your group?

Tim Stout:

Oh, thanks. Thanks.

Eric Conklin:

You have more authority as a deacon? No, I

Tim Stout:

have no authority as a deacon. I just do what He tells me to do. Right. I know how that works. You tell us what to do. And we go to right.

Dallas Kelley:

And we never dispute it. Right. That's right. We never argue

Tim Stout:

publicly. publicly, we agree 100% publicly.

Unknown:

Oh, good.

Tim Stout:

We have a good relationship for sure. So hey, we want to talk to this. We will thank Matt nationally for letting us come up here to the upper room. We didn't mention that at the beginning. You bless this room. I think

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

this upper room is unique. It's if you I don't know y'all know that. Prior to Catholic establishment here. They always a priest, a traveling priest stay here. And he does he did mass in space right here.

Tim Stout:

The upper room.

Eric Conklin:

Very first mass in Scott

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

County, Scott Kennedy is right here. So we have a privilege to came here when this place opened up and we have a blast at this place.

Tim Stout:

Extra blessings in the interesting that they they're because they're non denominational Christian, right in the midst of Catholic priests to come bless the right hey, what's that mean? Was there was there? Was there something here? Was there something going on in his room that they want to get out in the morning? So baton Ashley obviously COVID hit them pretty hard, right? You know, they, like most small businesses and restaurant businesses, they struggled bars, same thing. So support the pub, it's a great place, great atmosphere to get, you know, 123 or five rooms plus the outside the new pavilion come out and support it. support them, because they support us. We've had other things up here you had a had a night out here with a was a Presbyterian or Anglican was that y'all had that.

Unknown:

Oh, theology and

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

the theology and drink.

Tim Stout:

Yeah. doctrine and drinks. Maybe that's out on the patio out a patio. I was good. What was that guy's name? I don't remember the best baby

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

raspberry hotpress.

Tim Stout:

What is he when Faith is the best material?

Eric Conklin:

Watch out for this Presbyterians dangerous.

Tim Stout:

So we're gonna have to have you back because I want to hear the conversion story. Ah, yeah. So bid real quick. How long were you married before? The event in

Barbara Conklin:

13 years? 13. Yeah. But he,

Eric Conklin:

he went to math backwards math to get there.

Barbara Conklin:

Well as faster this time. He's usually better as daughter's

Eric Conklin:

drunk.

Barbara Conklin:

But we were he went to mass with me when we were dating. So all through when we were dating, and then once we were married and had kids, he we were

Eric Conklin:

about 15 years before I

Tim Stout:

pull the trigger. 15 years. Wow. So

Eric Conklin:

slow conversion.

Dallas Kelley:

That's not the record. I was married about 28 years. By way of converting

Tim Stout:

28 years,

Barbara Conklin:

some people are more stubborn than others.

Tim Stout:

But that happens a lot. Right? It does have a lot. There's a lot of families in this parish that that have had that happen. Right that have had a spouse that's not Catholic goes to mass all the time.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

Yeah. But nobody asked them.

Barbara Conklin:

There's still a number of couple couples that are interested in then going to be part of this group where one of them is not Catholic. Yeah, they're still going to mass every week. I know.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

I told them already. I say I will not leave displacement. Do you all become Catholic?

Tim Stout:

And then we need to make sure everybody I think

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

the two more couples will go on.

Tim Stout:

If they're not married in the church. We need to get married in the church to That's right. So maybe we can have like a mega

Eric Conklin:

we can get married in the church at least so

Unknown:

we're legit, but

Eric Conklin:

we are legit. Yeah, I can't be pretty stoked. I know. So if she'd been pushy about it, it might have been 20 years. Was you baptized

Dallas Kelley:

when you got married?

Unknown:

Yeah, so you didn't so you didn't have to give up this? There you go. There you go.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

Question.

Dallas Kelley:

Because my wife wasn't baptized. So we didn't. We had a we got married in the church. It was valid, but it was in Sacramento, okay. He'll she was baptized.

Tim Stout:

Then what happened?

Dallas Kelley:

became Sacramento The moment she was baptized,

Tim Stout:

didn't have to do anything else. Right. So there's a whole show on that right there. Right? Because there's a lot of people like that in our church. Right? That that think they're married in the church. That may not be

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

Oh, believe me, when I send a kid to baptism, I say, how come you and I've been married the church? asked.

Tim Stout:

There's, there's specific rules, or Catholic. There's lots of rules, right? That's the what sets us apart from everybody else. So So yeah, so we'll have you back. We'll learn a little bit more about the conversion store. Who baptized or sorry, who confirmed you?

Eric Conklin:

Who confirmed me? Yeah. Me.

Tim Stout:

You'd like the oil a shot. Did he? Did he have a candle while you were doing it?

Unknown:

I did not catch on fire.

Tim Stout:

Yeah. That did happen. No. I

Dallas Kelley:

mean, we were probably there. Yes.

Tim Stout:

That happened at Easter Vigil this this past Easter Vigil a little. And thankfully, it was not four hours. Oh, there was a catch on fire. They cut their hair on fire. Yeah, there was there was fireworks

Dallas Kelley:

and buyers few lady in the fire.

Tim Stout:

It was it was it was smell. I

Dallas Kelley:

mean, the whole church smelled singed hair.

Unknown:

It's an awful smell.

Tim Stout:

So right before confirmation event, I leaned over and I said

Unknown:

blow out the candles.

Tim Stout:

So can you imagine that? Not good. Not good. So we'll have you back. We'll talk about that. We'll have it we'll have you back to we'll talk about how it's going. Right? Yeah, great.

Barbara Conklin:

And if anyone's interested, please do reach out. I mean, there's reach out to anyone on Facebook here. Put a comment in the post if you want to. Or you can contact Eric or I or anyone on the team. We'll get that information out because we'd love to have more people engaged or involved. If you haven't heard about the marriage ministry yet. Or if you have specific questions or concerns, please let us know. We'll have someone reach out for sure and get you involved. Absolutely. And we want as many

Tim Stout:

people's Yeah, well, for sure. Can't be too many people. So

Barbara Conklin:

one of the things I know a question that someone had Run up, as you know what if I'm in a group and it doesn't work out, or I don't feel comfortable, or, you know, we're gonna go into this with no expectations in that you can come and join a group. And if you don't click or fit with that group, it's okay. We're gonna make it an easy transition, right? It to be able to join a different group and transition so that you don't feel stuck, you're never going to be required. Again, it's very organic, and we're very much it's an open and flexible kind of thing.

Tim Stout:

So if you don't like Ohio State fans,

Unknown:

don't be in our group that you're not allowed

Eric Conklin:

that would that would be a good learning experience, or are you? Or

Dallas Kelley:

are you both Ohio State fan? Yes,

Barbara Conklin:

yeah, he's an actual grad. But I'm like four generations of my family.

Dallas Kelley:

Were there so I'm one of the few in this area. I like Kentucky better but you know, I'm not one of those like, Hey,

Eric Conklin:

you just jumped in number one, the deacon rankings that

Dallas Kelley:

I had a gentleman I worked with for years. Toyota that we called him but guy he went he never missed a he went to Ohio State football game for years. Never. And he was from the I think it might have been the law very

Tim Stout:

well, yeah. Because they don't have a good football program. So that would make sense not known as a basketball school.

Eric Conklin:

I state Oh, yeah.

Unknown:

Kentucky this year.

Tim Stout:

So was everybody else? I mean, is COVID having come on?

Barbara Conklin:

Well, there's that.

Tim Stout:

Oh, you lost Oh. I lost you ready for a saint of the day over there. Boss solo, we're gonna take a short break, but you're gonna hear about saying other day.

Unknown:

This is Franciscan media saint of the day for April 9. Today we celebrate St. casilda. Some saints names are more familiar to us than others. But even the lives of obscure holy persons teach us something. And so it is with sanka Silva, the daughter of a 10th century Muslim leader in Toledo, Spain. Though Muslim because Silva showed special kindness to Christian prisoners. When she became ill, because Hilda was not convinced that any of the local Arab doctors could cure her. So she made a pilgrimage to the shrine of San Vincenzo in northern Spain. Like so many other people who made their way there, many of them suffering from hemorrhages. Because Silda sought the healing waters of the shrine. were uncertain of the nature of the ailment that brought her to the shrine, but we do know that she left it relieved of illness. In response, facilita became a Christian and live the life of solitude and pennants. Not far from the miraculous spring. Through her quiet, simple life. facilita served her creator first in one faith, then, in another, it said the castle to live to be 100 years old, dying around the year 1050. There's more about the saints along with inspiration and Catholic resources at our website, Saint of the day.org. From Franciscan media, this has been st of the day,

Tim Stout:

Saint casilda. Haven't heard that name and around in a while have yours, Hunter. Yeah, back in the day, she lived to be 100 years old. So hey, that's something for somebody for sure. So any questions? I know it was kind of laggy. Y'all see that? We're going in and out. So yeah, watch the re play. The free play. It'll be perfect. It'll be tonight. If as long as Steve is record, because I forgot to hit the record button on my side. So I hope you're recording over there. Okay, because I'm not weird trouble. So hey, thanks for coming out.

Unknown:

Thanks for having

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

you here with us. It's good.

Tim Stout:

There's anybody getting questions out there? The people that are here? Are y'all jealous?

Dallas Kelley:

We have a person going Master's in theology as Ask away?

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

Well, they have a question.

Tim Stout:

Besides a shadow. So sign up people. That's what we want, the more the better. Can't be too many. I thought you know, one of the things we could add in there is like because the my whole parish what we did, once a quarter, we just have anniversary dinners. So like, it didn't matter if he was a golden anniversary like a 1020. Whatever. If your anniversary was in the previous three months in that quarter, you got invited to the to the anniversary dinner. And the best part was the pastor cooked the meal.

Eric Conklin:

Good idea.

Tim Stout:

There you go. You're getting heckled.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

Oh, give me a good kitchen. I'll

Unknown:

cook for you. Oh, everyone here

Barbara Conklin:

that write it down below kitchen we are building to build.

Tim Stout:

We're gonna build a kitchen. But I thought maybe what we could do because I know she's a good cook. Maybe the clergy could work with your pastor to cook the meals. Wow, this

Unknown:

is a good idea.

Dallas Kelley:

Yeah. Jerry, we'll talk when we get on.

Tim Stout:

Is like as I was telling Kelly that because as I suggested that she said, Well, yeah, you'll say well, Sherry Kelly's a great cool cook and she'll help Dallas out and then you're on your own. So, no, I think that's a good idea, again, kind of, you know, celebrate a part of areas, right that sometimes you know, when you've been married as long as we have another year, right? What do you what do you do on your last anniversary?

Dallas Kelley:

I bought my wife a new Highlander. 39 year, it's not going to get better for 40. So don't expect it.

Tim Stout:

That's pretty good. That mean, that's pretty good. What would you do on your end? virtualised anniversary? Gosh, I

Eric Conklin:

don't even remember what well, this probably watched a football game. Yeah.

Tim Stout:

But if we had if we had an anniversary dinner where we were celebrating those anniversaries, it would, it would leave a lasting memory and people would then say, hey, they were unable to forward to it. Right. It would be be an important

Dallas Kelley:

part. And, and, and I gotta tell you what, when you make that big of a purchase, you still have to check with your spouse. I called her work. I said, I met the dealership. I'm gonna buy a Highlander. Is that okay?

Tim Stout:

Sure. If it was for her, it was okay. Okay. There's other ways to have a successful marriage. 2%. But that's pretty good. Pretty good. So, Hey, thanks for coming. Thanks for you all coming. Hey, next show. We're gonna have a deacon another Deacon on the deacon show. His name is Deacon Gary Ruta Miller. He was ordained 1009, class of 2016. And he's also one of the owners in Benedictus. Anybody ever heard of Benedict, just raise your hand? They need help. Right? They need our help. Because, you know, like everybody else. Amazon is winning the war. So we got Gary on, we're gonna talk a little bit about his faith story. His calling is calling as a deacon and also about Benedictus. So join us in two weeks for that. If you got any ideas about show anything you want us to talk about? This was a great example. We had a meeting one time and we thought, hey, this would be good. But on the show, so great example. Anything else going on in the parish in the community, any people that you think have a good face story or have a contribution to the community that you think people want to hear about it? Let us know. We'll get them on the show. I think this is Episode 33 How

Dallas Kelley:

about that? 33 4200

Tim Stout:

it's the same every time it's something just a little bit different. You know, we're in December, right? So hey, support our ministries go to SS f j.org ssfjssfj.org support not just this ministry. You told me I was gonna get some some sponsorship. If I could get back to twice a month.

Unknown:

I remember that. You have

Tim Stout:

a sponsorship. That was not Did anybody see that show? He said it on a show. I do.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

Yep. What's my budget? no budget yet a budget but I haven't

Dallas Kelley:

had as much when we get a church about you'll get about There you go.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

We will have a studio. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay.

Tim Stout:

33 episodes. Support us like us. hit the little bell. Subscribe, all that good stuff. Tell your friends. Tell us about a show. Donate. Spread the word. All that good stuff. How about a blessing? Oh,

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

great feasts. of St. Joseph. We pray almost chase St. Joseph. By your yes to the plan of God you will united to Jesus through Mary Hetrick of all graces you will call by God our Heavenly Father, that the Holy Spirit to marriage with the ever Virgin Mary Immaculate and to the adopted fatherhood of Christ the Son. Yes. Oh, St. Joseph, terror of demons, patron of universal church and anchor families that eat on our behalf and extend your protection to our own domestic families. This bill all fears and confusion God has from all evil one, just a Jew guarded and protected the Most Holy Family. We asked to defend our family here. president john anchored us in the storm. So we will be ever united to the Most Holy Trinity. Just a Jew all for all eternity. body and heart. Pray for us. We ask this in the name of the Father and up.

Unknown:

Amen. Amen.

Tim Stout:

Prayer St. Joseph.

Fr. Linh Nguyen:

Pray for a bus.

Tim Stout:

Hey, until two weeks, two weeks from now, till we get back back in the studio i think is where we'll be taking Tim.

Dallas Kelley:

I'm taking Dallas bottling when Good

Tim Stout:

night, everybody.

Unknown:

Did you ever stop and think why spend too much time getting ready? I don't know or single thing. You notice when I see you my heart starts racing, but I don't know if the length is Jason brown it's the same thing my head start shaking