Deacons Discussions Drinks
Deacons Discussions Drinks
#21 - All Things Finley - 5K, Foundations, SIDS Research
We were live at Galvin's on Main with Dwayne and Chrissy Ellison to talk about all things Finley including Finley's story, SIDs, the Finley 5K, and their current journey to help others. Please watch our interview and learn their story, the battle against SIDS and what you can do to help.
Show Notes
Finley Foundation
www.finley105.org
Finley 5K Race Signup
https://runsignup.com/Race/KY/Georgetown/Finley5KforSIDS
Support our Ministry at Ss. Francis and John Catholic Parish
http://ssfj.org/
Saint of the Day – Augustine of Hippo
https://www.franciscanmedia.org/
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Stop
Unknown Speaker :I don't know a single thing.
Fr. Linh Nguyen :Then
Unknown Speaker :when I see my heart starts racing, I don't know.
Unknown Speaker :It's the same thing my hands started shaking
Unknown Speaker :this time
Tim Stout :Today is August 28 2020, Friday the 21st week in Ordinary Time and you are tuned in to Deakins discussions and drinks
Unknown Speaker :so much.
Unknown Speaker :When I see my heart starts racing, I don't know
Unknown Speaker :Good evening, everybody.
Tim Stout :Welcome to another episode of deacons discussions and drinks. Deacon Tim Stout. I'm taking Dallas Kelly. And we would say, I'm Father Lynn, but I think he called in sick to play some golf. He's missing an action.
Dallas Kelley :And he would have had to have been at Mass only to get what I
Tim Stout :just said. So the empty was missing, missing in action. So he's on his way we think, right? That's what he said, Hey, we're not in the studio. Tonight. We're live at Gavin's on Main Street, Georgetown, Kentucky, and it's kind of a different show. For us. The atmosphere is different. There's real people in here. Which is kind of scary. For me anyway, but especially tonight, because we've got two special guests with us, Dwayne and Chrissy Ellison, who are with us tonight. Welcome to the show. Thank you for having us. Hey, we're glad you're here. Typically, we would do all kinds of different stuff too. start things off. But we're, we're, we're in a delay mode just so we can try to get fatherland just a couple of minutes. But what I'm going to do is I'm going to go ahead and introduce you, simply. Okay, and then I want to let you all introduce yourselves. But you guys are both pressures to St. Francis and john. You're both coaches, right? Coach, my daughter coach, you both educators, parents, members of the community founders of the foundation, Family Foundation, but most importantly, tonight, your families mommy and daddy, right. So, welcome to the show. We're glad you're here. And we're excited to talk about everything, Finley, and wherever else the conversation takes us tonight. So that was my introduction. The guy who Who wants to go first. Well,
Dwayne Ellison :we'll let her talk first. She's always better, actually.
Crissy Ellison :So this is it's 2020. So we've lived in Georgetown, Kentucky for 20 years actually doing Duane moved here first and then I followed some And we got married and settled here and we're educators in the community. And for a long time did not kind of continue church just kind of wavered around and then we we started going St. John's and that became, you know, obviously, something that was important in our lives and really important to me. I grew up in Louisville, Kentucky, and so was born and raised Catholic and
Tim Stout :Dwayne majority people here Lowell Kentucky. Yeah, low power WebPart
Crissy Ellison :near St. Pius the church, near Seneca High School off Bardstown road, so it was important to me and Duane supported me in that and for a long time, you know, stood by my side went to church with me but then in and I'll get to that part later but then became a Catholic later in life so that that's been wonderful for us and for our
Dwayne Ellison :I grew up Baptist.
Tim Stout :Christy's cradle Catholic, right okay. cradle Catholic, convert, convert, yes, but later Yeah.
Crissy Ellison :We have daughter, I have to get a daughter. She's 15 years old. She'll be a freshman at grade crossing High School. She's playing volleyball tonight. Getting pictures tonight there and I have we have a son and other son Charlie Ellison and he is 11 and he's here and he'll be a sixth grader at Royal spring Middle School. And I laugh when I say volleyball because I did coach volleyball prior to having children and got to coach Deacon Saltz, wonderful daughter Katie stout, who's not Katie stout anymore but Katie Susi
Tim Stout :Katie Sue, she's in the house tonight A
Crissy Ellison :love loved her loved her family, such supportive people. And so, I'm rambling on, but then in 2013, actually, in 2012, Dwayne and I had gone on a trip together, just the two of us just kind of after we had kids, we were going, you know, by ourselves, and we were in New York City and found out that we were we were pregnant and going to have a third child. And it was unexpected. And, of course, you know, we were like, what's going on? and ended up bringing him into the world in 2013 may 2000 or January 2013. He lived for three and a half months. Prior to his arrival, I was nervous and didn't know what to expect with the three children. How was I going to do this? We're very busy educators living lives, hustle and bustle. He came into the world and as you know, blessings, just change your whole way of thinking. He was wonderful. He lived for three and a half months and unfortunately passed on May 14 2013, in our babysitter's house and after that moment, we together have worked hard to keep his memory alive, and to do good work for SIDS awareness is what he's passed away from so sorry, that was long winded.
Tim Stout :That was that was pretty good. That was a good internet gonna be on the top. I never can.
Dwayne Ellison :On the emotional guy. I was choked up and
Dallas Kelley :and she came from global where we I'm from Columbia
Dwayne Ellison :County, Kentucky Northeastern county and in this state kind of in between it most people don't know it's between maysville Morehead area is kind of where if you look at that direction so very small rural area but we will both went to campbellsville University to play sports and and get her degrees there. She played volleyball I played football
Tim Stout :so you met there met there with friends for a while where did Where did you meet that
Unknown Speaker :bar was it
Dwayne Ellison :not a lot of bars there but we found places drink all the time and and have a good time. So you know a lot of a lot of sports activities there a lot of
Dallas Kelley :So you knew you were going to be a good Catholic, right? Yeah, well, the drink batch thing.
Unknown Speaker :He He's kind of easy, real easy. Yeah, here in the bill Baptists country.
Dwayne Ellison :But now, yeah, so you know, we met in campbellsville. And hanging eventually got I moved here in 99 with coaching I had been in Greene County and Meade county for us dinner to with coaching and teaching and came here to coach and 99 and it fit perfectly for our families between our each way, you know, so they're close enough and far enough away at the same time.
Tim Stout :So you're coaching High School ball at that time or cost coach in high school.
Dwayne Ellison :Coach High School was coming out of college, the green county and then made county with Coach Ranch, had great experiences, Coach McKeon and another friend of mine contacted me about it the opening position here so I moved to Georgetown for a year and then Christy and I got married the year after that, and move you know, all the way in and we've dived in ever since in the community and and you know, just really love this community and taught coached I was principal for a while, and track coach for a while, and then in 2004 started coaching with Georgetown college football and And then, you know, just kind of work my way up. I'm the director now with the scanning schools. So do a lot of the operational stuff with Scott County Schools, and cruces now, you know, done elementary teaching for a long time for almost 20 years. And then now she's teaching middle school kids and gifted. And so we've been around a lot of kids, a lot of families are all the time here and trying to get back. You know, I always say, express, especially with teaching coaching, because that's where I always was gifted by great coaches, great teachers kind of lifted me up for my situation. So that's kind of where we hang our hat. And then, you know, like Chrissy said, you know, in 2013, we were on that trip in New York, and she kept telling me this, something's wrong. And we're in the middle of New York City, having a great time and getting Yankees tickets and all kinds of stuff. And I'm a big Yankees fan, and she wants to go have a pregnancy test.
Tim Stout :So I gotta go find a kid in the middle of somewhere and cut the bar hopping. Yeah,
Dwayne Ellison :I was like, for her, I was like, you know, Hey, I got driver now, you know, I mean, let's, let's
Unknown Speaker :go.
Dwayne Ellison :And but it was it was it was pretty tough to deal with the time because, you know, we weren't supposed to by the doctors you know, that told us after especially Riley that, you know, they expect they thought Riley was our miracle baby that we shouldn't have even been able to have Riley and and then we had a really really tough time having Charlie and and had to have a lot of you know, doctor's visits and a lot of procedures and whatnot and then and then it turned around and they you know, they told us I mean literally doctor said there is no way you're gonna have a child, another child naturally, you know, and that crushed us for a while after rally I was really really depressed. And I kept thinking I was like, why am I so you know, I mean, I literally would be on a bus ride to a ballgame and I'm just like, depressed because some doctor told me we couldn't have another child after after Riley and then and then to find out all of a sudden we're pregnant where we were weren't supposed to be in weren't even trying to be with family. So it was really a big shock and but I was all in you know, we named Finley after my head football coach in Georgia at campbellsville. Sorry, I got Georgetown mixed up sometime. But a guy that really he was a big Baptist guy and preached to us all the time and was very important to me growing up as a man. And so we named him after a guy who taught us more about life than it was about football a lot of time so that was very important to me and Chrissy was okay with a name because she had a friend that also was looking at a girl named Ben Lee. So I was able to sneak that name in there as something important to me at the same time. So you know, and but unfortunately he passed away after that our, our, you know, we kind of struggled there from May 2013. Through that summer, we had a lot of trips already planned. And family, you know, vacations, Disney and All these things, were going to take all three of them. And now and we still, we decided we're still going to do this with our other two and try to do those things. And we did. And along the way, our neighbors, Samantha and Stacy, just, you know, I guess, solace, kind of going through that solace, cleaning out the bedroom and taking all of those things out of that were Finlay's and packing those things up and, and came into our kitchen one day and said, You know, we're gonna do a five k, this fall, we're gonna throw it together, we're gonna make it happen. We don't want you to do anything. But we want you to have something that, you know, is fulfilling. And and I remember them saying if we if we have 100 people, you know, oh, well, you know, we're all like, Yeah, that's great idea, you know, and I've been a bunch of five K's And typically, you'd have 100 or so people and no big deal. And we show up on that date. And, you know, there's 1000 people. I mean, it's just crazy. And then after that year, you know, we kind of like, you know, this is something we, that people really got behind, that people want to do again, and people enjoy. And people feel like, there's a need. And and we, you know, we need to carry this torch because I've said it over and over again, you know, there's not very many people that are that lose a child that all of a sudden can stand up that are able to stand up and do something positive with it. You know, a lot of a lot of families really struggle, a lot of families are in situations where they don't have the platform. And we felt like, you know, we needed to do this, not just for Finley, but for others. You know, we needed to create something that other sitz families could be a part of that we could also support all those SIDS families that never have a shot, you know that, you know, they're it's their first child. They're 20 years old, they don't even have jobs, how they're gonna put something together. So, it's just kind of grown from that, you know, we took over not necessarily took over, we still work with Samantha Stacy a ton, but it's basically the four of us that do 90% of the work and try to put on a nice event not just for us, but for everybody that we can include and try to incorporate Georgetown, Scott County, Central Kentucky and and all the sitz victims that we could possibly, you know, incorporate into the process and try to have a great event and, and take time to really think about the issue and what we need to do about it. That's a lot of a lot of talk.
Tim Stout :I think he he did more than he's good about that. He's passionate about his passion there. So hey, Father, Linda joined us. I fall in. Hey, you're supposed to somebody said I'm Father Lynn. I'm fatherly. There you go. So I was gonna, I was gonna say, you know, I had all kinds of questions, but you've answered a lot of those questions already. But the Finley five K is obviously the biggest fundraiser probably not the only fundraiser that you have, but it's the biggest fundraiser right? So this is the sixth actually is the Hey, AC because
Dwayne Ellison :that year, I mean, we had one before even would have turned one, you know, so a lot of times that that one year kind of gets people think seven years
Unknown Speaker :but he would have been seven this year would have been seven years old right now. So
Dwayne Ellison :so would have been started virtual school.
Tim Stout :Like you're like everybody else trying to figure trying to figure it out. If you can find one. So you got the 55 k this year is gonna be significantly different. Virtual, how many? How many participants did you have last year just for 1500.
Dwayne Ellison :Last year was our biggest year. Just a little bit over 1500 participants You know, dozens of sponsors. So last year was our biggest overall event
Tim Stout :for that just a little bit closer, just my life you can you can move this like this to this, I want you to be comfortable, you can pull it into you. We'd like to say, I tell these these guys have a prop kiss the mic, right? So 1500 last year, that could be 1500 this year, probably virtually no, no
Dallas Kelley :way. We hope to get 750 I mean, how does that virtual work? How is it gonna work? We'll take over, I'll talk about how
Unknown Speaker :you actually know how to work better.
Dwayne Ellison :So virtually will work pretty much up to the day of the race almost identical to what we know Mulder you know, will do a lot of the same things we've always tried to do as far as sponsorships and getting things for the people that are that are going to take part of the event. There's a little bit more mailing situation now. Where people aren't necessarily going to come, we are going to have a packet pickup like we always do, which is usually really light because we do big teams. And usually one person can come pick up 100 people's packets. So our packet pickup has never been a big event where we have to worry about the numbers of COVID. And those issues. So we'll still have that at officers landing. Thanks to our ppreciate, our ocers group over here, I'll be
Tim Stout :using myself so we can get feedback. Larry, Larry and Donna. Oh, sir, in the house tonight.
Dwayne Ellison :Yes. Right. And so they're going to help us and we're going to have packet pick up there. There's two or three actual sponsors right there in that area anyway, that that, that useless building, so that's gonna be great. And so we'll have packet pickup there like we normally do. And so people will come and get their stuff, they'll get their great Finley shirt, they'll get their metal and all those things prior to we won't be handing the metal out as you pass through the finish line like normal. You'll get it with your packet. You could
Tim Stout :assume that everybody's good. We're gonna
Dwayne Ellison :we're gonna do you know Even if it's walking or crawling, whatever it is, we're going to assume that you'll get your 3.1 in. And then when it comes to the actual day of the race, and a few days, it doesn't necessarily have to be on the 19th of September. But sometime in that window, we're asking people to run their, their race, wherever that may be, whether it's flat or hilly throughout a PowerPoint, that's gonna be a little tougher. If they're, you know, just running around the track, that's gonna be a little easier. So just run it, you know, maybe take some pictures, they can upload their time, you know, if they want to keep their time and upload that some people won't want to upload their times. And that's fine too, I would neither understand that. So that you know, so the system will be able to incorporate that when you sign up, then you can go back and punch in your time and so we'll still have that. We won't do a winner or loser type of stuff. There won't be an overall champion of the race this year because I don't want any bike complaining about what this person had that type of route. versus this person had that type of URL
Tim Stout :you think that would happen?
Dwayne Ellison :And it could easily be sort of 75 year old man griping at me. Beating an 80 year old man on his time and his age group is as competitive as the 20. So that's that. That's always kind of fun. And I will stewed we're still doing teams. You know what, that's one of our biggest things. We have team events. So, you know, like elemi lemons Mila metri versus ECS ECS is going forward. Kyle cows really Karen at this year. Team Lucas, though you can never count on our team Lucas, who is a parishioner here, Krishna. Yeah, I can change the blanket ships. They want it last year so they get the big WWE belt. I think
Tim Stout :I saw that on Facebook this week. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, it was macho man with Randy macho man see
Dwayne Ellison :me Charlie's got a little bit ago before he gets that size. Not much. Oh, man. Yeah, we got to worry about stick boy. Don't worry.
Tim Stout :But he's he's picking up ladies.
Dwayne Ellison :So, Christy and I will do, you know, we're gonna try we've offered to our sponsors that you know, is, you know, do some sort of little commercial, you know, 32nd to a minute commercial, we'll play it on the day of the race. We've offered to SIDS victims, you know, do something about your SIDS child, whether it's some sort of commercial or just a story about your, your story, you know, and share that with us. And we're going to share that on the day trying to incorporate all the people that you know, like the blanket ships and the Marines and we wanted
Crissy Ellison :to have quality rice, whether it be we've that's been always the thing is like, we could have 1500 people, we could have 500, but we will always wanted a quality rice because that's what's going to bring people back and so people are going to remember, so whether it's virtual or it's real, I wanted it to be a quality event. So, Dwayne, I had this brainstorm of let's let's honor our sins, victims or our families that have lost a child. And now we can honor more than just one, we usually just honor one. But we can honor more than one. And then we can also honor those sponsors. I mean, you would be I mean, it's amazing how many people come out and sponsor this race for us. And that's what's helped us and that's what's helped us keep going. So,
Dwayne Ellison :yeah, I mean, we're, we're blown away all the time. I mean, just people just write checks and give to him, like, well, what can we do to try to help you know, and they're like, we don't want anything, you know, we're just trying to help you. I'm like, now what can we do to help you and it's just like, it's, it's, it's almost frustrating. You're like, you know, you want to kind of, we don't want to be a handout. We want to be a partner. And so you want to put on a great event so that people want to come back every year. We are a 501 c three,
Unknown Speaker :right. So I mean, that's,
Dwayne Ellison :I know, but you know, I don't want to be just a tax write off either. I want to be a partner.
Tim Stout :I think that's one of the things in this community. I don't think it'll ever be looked at as, as just a charity. Well, I mean, it's it's people can relate to this. Store your you guys are an integral part of the community and as educators you've touched so many lives, that it's not just another story, right? It's just not another statistic it means something to this community and I think for for those of us that have known you guys for a while, you know, we all can relate to that story and we all feel a part of it because we were with with you at the time. Yeah, in different ways and fashion. So it in this community, I think is really embraced you guys. And it's been kind of I would say, just listening to y'all talk. It's kind of therapeutic in a way. Yes, it is.
Dwayne Ellison :Yeah, it is. I mean, it's
Crissy Ellison :a chore and I hate to say that sometimes it's like, you know, we've been doing this for seven years. And some you know, we have day jobs. We have children that we take to practice and we do and sometimes that we do get run down with with it, but we know that we're we're you know, we're giving this time to to our son, who's no longer with us, and we're giving this time to People that also have lost a loved one. And so that I think that motivates us. Another motivator has been that we have been able to take what we've profited off the race and give it to research. And hopefully one day that will be something that we will have to talk about SIDS anymore, that it will be something that they have found a cure or a reason or a way to stop it. And somehow, you know, somehow so we, we feel motivated by those things to continue on. But I won't lie to you and say that it's always easy because it's not always easy. It's like at the end of the day, you're still working on things you're still you know, I'm still writing thank you notes or he's still posting on Facebook or he's still making sure this check is where it's supposed to be. You know, those are it keeps you occupied. Yeah.
Dwayne Ellison :Does it does it and you know, this year especially was the year was like, do we just, you know, pass on to next year, you know, and take the year off with COVID. And, and there was a lot of a lot of prayer, a lot of debate a lot of I mean out went back and forth three or 4000 times, it seems like, you know, do we do it this way? Do we do it that way? And I, you know, and I lean in a little bit too many times, sometimes kind of, you know, willy nilly with my chin and get knocked down sometimes about taking things on and I just couldn't I just could not do something, you know, because anytime we are not doing something, it's not getting done. You know, we're not doing it, there's a really good chance that nobody in the state of Kentucky is doing it forced it. And that's just the way it is. There's, you know,
Tim Stout :so talk a little bit about that. I know, and you guys can jump in and cut me off, but I got some good questions here. I do have a question. Oh, yeah. Yes, the mic. What is it?
Dwayne Ellison :Okay, great. Have you thought about that? No, that's good. That's good for a lot of people. sitz means si d s, means they don't know what they're talking about. It's it's significant. syndrome. And they don't know, the baby went to bed in a safe location safe, normal environment, the baby didn't have any type of pre existing condition. And he went to sleep and he didn't rescue breathe for whatever reason. A lot of people get confused and feel like SIDS is slick and it is it is sleeper late. A lot of times, especially back before the sleep awareness program started in
Unknown Speaker :the late 80s, early 90s.
Dwayne Ellison :A lot of people just did whatever grandma told them to do when it came to putting your baby to sleep, you know, whether it's putting on you know, your stomach or putting on your back or putting on your side or, you know, 20,000 things in the bed cosleeping all those different things. doctors and researchers have have come on board over the last 20 years or so. And the numbers got better. And it went from, you know, over 5000 infants dying each year to you know, typically around 3000 to 3500. So, a lot of people immediately assume Well, this is a safe, this is a, a bad parenting or a bad choice, accidental death type thing more than it is a, a issue with the body of the infant. And you know, when you go back and look at it, though, over 20 years, yes, it came down. But it has flatlined for 20 years where you're still having 2500 to 330 500 infants dying each year. And you're having infants, you know, putting situations where it looks like, you know, based on the investigation, a coroner investigated and whatnot. That's kind of a pretty good trial for some families of going through this investigation. And they rule out that there's any wrongdoing by the parent, and then it gets labeled as SIDS. I don't know that all of them are like that. And we worked with this this past spring and summer with our state legislature. David there, Max wise and Philip Pratt, and we were able to You know, one other issue is there is no research on this except from infants in California. Because, well, I can't remember the 50s or 60s. But back in California in the 50s and 60s, I grew up my parents got together and had a law presented to where any sleep related death got that investigation happened, that information got shared with people that researching. Law, no other states had that. In the state of Kentucky, there was no law that prohibited the sharing of information. But since it didn't spell it out and say that they could the corners wouldn't do that. The medical medical examiner would not share information with researchers. So we just jumped in there with Max and Damon and those guys and Philip, and we were able to change that wording of Senate Bill 237 to where now the state of Kentucky is sharing information on on the autopsy that's already happening. Nothing new is happening. And that was something that we went through. That was kind of You know, a very tough thing to do is that after the end, you know, when you're at the hospital and you have to talk to the corner, and they have to ask you these questions. You know, do you want to donate organs? Do you want to go do this do that. And, and that was one of the toughest things I think we did. We had to sit through. Now, hopefully, one of those questions from our corner is do you want to share information from the autopsy with researchers? And and hopefully we get to the question of what is really SIDS.
Crissy Ellison :We we did travel to Boston, we were able to travel to Boston about three years ago. And they laid all of the research out for us. And they put it in layman's terms, because obviously we needed that. But there is research to suggest that there are reasons why an infant doesn't take a rescue breath or why it just passes instead of, you know, awakening and taking those breaths and it has to do with the hypothalamus in the brain and it has to do with some serotonin levels. And so but they're saying You know, we're only able to look at infants from California, because those are the only tissue samples that we can study. Because there, we don't get any other tissue samples from around the round, you know, all over the United States, if we were able to have a broad range of tissue samples, we might be able to say, yes, you know, and all of these research with all of these intense Yes, this is a reason why they don't take a rescue breath or that they end up falling asleep and they don't wake up or, or whatever. Because, you know, like Dwayne was saying, you know, you infants are passing away without any of the blankets over their heads
Tim Stout :are in hot environment, which is, which is different than what was previously initially. Exactly, yeah, they
Crissy Ellison :would say if you did all of those those right steps, then then your child wouldn't die of SIDS, because you've done all these things. But, but, you know, doing all of those things, infants are still dying, like he said, and so we're saying, Okay, now where so let's read, let's go back and find out why they are still passing. Even though we're following all these safe sleep. Not just to safely visit important, we do believe that as well sure, right? That's not really our central focus with our foundation. There's other foundations out there that that is theirs, their central focus, and we partner with them as well.
Dallas Kelley :So yours is research,
Crissy Ellison :research and awareness because what I will say is when I was when I had family I knew SIDS was out there it heard about it. I knew it was out there. But I did not think in a million years that it was going to happen to me. And people, I want people to know, hey, it's out there. And you have to know that this is a real thing. And this really could happen to you. So please follow safe sleep practices, just to eliminate that cause and to know that, that it could happen to you, you know. So awareness research, and then my my biggest platform is giving families that don't have a platform to honor their child a platform to honor their child. Because there are many families that we have found that grieve privately they They want to share share information about who they had, and they loved for three and a half months or however long, but they don't have a way to do that. And so our race has brought out people that you know, from all over that said, you know, that wear a shirt, or that come up to us and say, I had a, I had a niece, her name was Aubrey. And she lived and she was loved. And she's no longer with us. And I don't have anywhere else to say, you know, because you don't walk up to anyone and say, Oh, I had a child and they passed away because it's completely awkward situation. But it gives those people avenues to honor their loved one freely and in a place that you know, is obviously accepting.
Tim Stout :And that's for this year for the virtual five k that opens the door even more for people to tell that story as well.
Dwayne Ellison :We help Yeah, yeah. That's why we want you know, and it's still it's still hard for those families to do that. Yeah, the tough to tell their story and tell their story. It's an emotional, gut wrenching thing to get in front of people and tell the story of your child. Die. And that what that means to you and all those things. So it's very uncomfortable. It's very uncomfortable. When people ask you How many children do you know, a simple question, you know, that we asked each other all the time? Sure. And, and we, we debate all the time, like, what's our answer? You know, do we make it awkward? Or do we say the truth? You know, do I say, hey, I've got I've got three, I've got two alive and one that was died, or do I just add that to now? Or, you know, so there's a lot of emotional awkwardness that people deal with after losing a child, you know, so? Yeah, like, great. Yeah. So
Fr. Linh Nguyen :with a sad situation, around community, there's no support system at all now,
Dwayne Ellison :well, there's there's a couple of groups out there, some online things because that's what we noticed it, you know, I remember, you know, the night family died, and I'm, you know, just two o'clock in the morning. I'm trying to you know, just Google and see, you know what's out there. There's like, two, two places, to online type of things. There's a very just, it wasn't just nothing. And I was just like, you know, why is this you know what, what, why is that all we have,
Crissy Ellison :like people rally around you, especially when it first happens but then starts to trickle away. Yeah. And you may still be grieving, especially those families and, and they they're kind of like,
Dwayne Ellison :Hey, we are okay now.
Crissy Ellison :Yeah, we were so fortunate, you're
Unknown Speaker :fixed, you're fixed, right?
Dwayne Ellison :You raised the money, you donate it. So everything's fine. You're you move on with your life is kind of a lot of a lot of people in and when that's on the good end. That's what the community rallying around you like we have and a lot of people don't have that. So we're very blessed, compared to a lot of folks that go through this, that they don't have anybody, you know, and and we've been very, very supportive and we go to Boston. You know, it's it's almost comical we go into the, the research organization of the world, when it comes to SIDS, these great people are awesome. They're great. It's Harvard type of people. It's, it's, it's the best of the best, and Boston Children's. And it's an old dorm that they've turned into, you know, it's, it's like five to 10 people. And that's it. That's it. That that's who's trying to save 3000 efforts every year.
Tim Stout :Why? Why do you think that is?
Dwayne Ellison :Why because there's no money in it. There's no money in there. So
Tim Stout :it's not like it's not like cancer where you can create a drug or treatment or therapeutic or, or whatever least
Dwayne Ellison :federally funded research groups out there. You know, it's so hard, you know, and it's it's and there's so much debate on you know, it's the mass debate of its you know, because Is it is it parent related, is it is it true science, is it
Dallas Kelley :Wow, I never even I never even would have thought about the you know, the the lack of Because of no money because, like you said, no drug, if you come up with a way to change, like, like, turn it on, it's, well, you don't get any money for that. Right, right.
Dwayne Ellison :I mean, there could be, you know, if we ever figure out what the actual events,
Tim Stout :because by the time you find out it's too late. Yeah. So
Dwayne Ellison :yeah, and that's the thing, you know, trying to the research is so hard because you're trying to deal with something after the fact. You know, it's not like you have a cancer patient to study while they're a victim, you know, and where SIDS it's after the fact and we all know that it's different after the fact when it when a child has died. It's a different animal when it comes to trying to research now. So cancer and SIDS research are just totally
Tim Stout :different issues. So genetics, not in play or is, it is I think it is, could be
Crissy Ellison :they've linked it to seizures and epilepsy. There's
Dwayne Ellison :all kinds of brain things They've looked at it's not nobody has pointed us in a direction to where it has anything below the neck you know everything below the neck usually you can kind of that's kind of a pre existing type of issue and you can kind of catch that on the normal day to day doctor's visits and checkups and things like that you catch those heart defects you
Tim Stout :long issue we're not doing CT scans on our kids
Dwayne Ellison :it's it's something to do with the brain somehow somewhere whether it's seizure related whether it's serotonin, the hypothalamus development what you know, somewhere in there where a child does not fight for that breath and fight to turn over or fight to push away you know, why does one kid who was put in a a bad situation push away and the other kid not done? So,
Tim Stout :so we need money. That's the bottom line. We need money and that's that's why we're here tonight.
Fr. Linh Nguyen :Really, right raise awareness it's been important to have this conversation is huge, and definitely need a lot. More information to help research right? Just like what you
Dwayne Ellison :put on your state paper when they don't understand, right people won't pay for what they don't. Right. And so it goes hand in hand. It really does. And so we try to do both as much as we humanly can, without trying to be too, too technical to understand
Crissy Ellison :the tech and we also partner with Georgetown pediatrics. I don't know if you all you all probably know this. But we provide through Charlie's Kids Foundation, a safe safe sleep book. And we actually put our information on there and worked on pediatrics have been great about giving a package to new new parents, we had talked about doing it in the hospital, but once you're you have a baby and you're in the hospital. I mean, there's just so many things that nurses and doctors give you and you're just overwhelmed. But once you come home, you have that baby, you go back to the doctor, the doctors, you know, handing you some information that, you know, hey, this is SIDS, this can happen. Here's some ways to prove, you know, a way to prevent it. So that's
Tim Stout :the awareness part. Yeah, that's
Dwayne Ellison :one of one big thing. We go through a lot of books that we give out, you know, free to whoever gets them, you know, probably between summer and 1000 books a year here in Georgetown, just little books you read with your child, little in a while you're doing your nightly thing. And I don't know how many. We've gotten. A lot of people say, Hey, I got this book. And we appreciate we saw your name on it. And I don't know how many of you actually use it, but most of them have read it through at least once. I don't know that they use it every night with their, you know, kids and stuff like that. So,
Tim Stout :but at least they've had a chance to check it out. Absolutely. So people want to register What do they got to do?
Dwayne Ellison :They go to Finley 105 dot org, which is our website and you can register you can donate you can do everything from that website. If you click on the registration part of it, it takes you to run sign up where you can register or donate there. If you want to just donate you can do it right there. From the website through the PayPal donate There's some information there are stories there. Again, we had some interviews and video and that way so if you want to read the story about family, if you want to read the story or listen to us in that interview, it's all right there on that website.
Crissy Ellison :And if you don't live in Georgetown and can't come to packet pickup, we will mail your metal and your wonderful t shirt don't
Tim Stout :let that stop you.
Unknown Speaker :Yeah, don't stop you will mail it.
Dwayne Ellison :We will mail it. Ups is working with us is actually
Fr. Linh Nguyen :not a dish you buy decide not to run. I still get them out. You still
Tim Stout :you can find it when it'll be your first metal ever. Your first five k father, it's virtually happened in your mind.
Dwayne Ellison :You could drink a beer the whole time.
Unknown Speaker :I calculate how a beer right mouse right?
Tim Stout :There is a rice like it.
Dallas Kelley :You're coming first in the priest category. How many Catholic churches are there in Georgia.
Tim Stout :21241241 so we got a virtual race this year going on in the middle of COVID. How has COVID affected your all's? daily lives this year outside of the foundation? no effect, right? No effects. Now everybody's normal, right? What is normal, very
Crissy Ellison :difficult, very difficult as a teacher, and I've not been at work since March 13. I mean, I've been at work but not teaching students and since March 13, and it's amazing. Like, I can't wait for spring break. I can't wait for summer break. And then when you have this huge, massive break from what you love doing, you, you do you miss it, and you're sad and you're sad that you know, you love the work that you do, and you're passionate about the work that you do. And, you know, we were thinking we were going back to school in September or August 26. And then that was pushed back, of course, with the governor's recommendation. And that was heartbreaking for lots of us as teachers and I know a lot of For mansion own children. And so I understand the kids
Tim Stout :miss it. The Buddha, who'd ever thought that we'd be sitting here talking about kids Miss wanting to go to wanting to go to school, my children
Crissy Ellison :want to go back to school and I know I mentioned I'm not the only ones that want to go back to school so and it makes you grateful for the things that you had. I think that's one thing about COVID that it makes you grateful for the things that you took for granted that you don't have anymore,
Dwayne Ellison :like Kirsty's first time out into a restaurant.
Tim Stout :Yeah, brought you probably closer together as a family. Yes,
Unknown Speaker :it did. Yeah,
Crissy Ellison :yeah. And my daughter we spent a lot of quality time together, you know, you get you you're with your family for so many months and you just you get to spend
Tim Stout :quality time with them, but that gets older.
Dwayne Ellison :So, my job I you know, you know, with the school system and and coaching and everything, so You know, it's it's affected everything we do. I mean, even now just hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait, you know,
Tim Stout :facilities gotta be in good shape,
Dwayne Ellison :right? You got to have everything ordered and if you can get it, you know, whether or not you know, we're spots 1000 hand sanitizer bottles, you know, I got 1000 classrooms or so that I got to make sure that we have, you know, cleaning kits, sanitizing kids, kids, you know, we got to have a plan before and after all through the day. Everything's got to be, you know, mapped out planned out, and then you got to assume that somebody was screwed up so you better have a backup plan, you know, so and then you got to assume that no matter what you do that you're still gonna have COVID related issues, you know, just because the beast that you're dealing with. And so how do we handle that situation when that happens, so which is normal for us and operations type guys, and I feel like we have a good team over Scott County Schools and I love trying to do those things, you know, I love, you know, I want to lean in and let's let's find a way to make this work. But you know, we got to do it safely. I've always even with, with with SIDS or, or COVID or, or whatever I feel like, you know, you got you can't be extreme one way or the other. You know, you really can't, you've got to understand both sides of the argument, because there's anxiety on both sides. Sure, you know, people that know us sometimes don't want to go to sleep at night with if they haven't, you know, I mean, my niece had a baby and I'm sure she was scared to death, you know, after seeing what happened with us. So, but we tell everybody, you know, safely move forward, you know, do everything you possibly can, but you have to move forward. And I hope eventually that we get that way with schools that we do everything we humanly can to make it safe, but we have to move forward and that's
Tim Stout :still we still have to live our lives, right. We do have
Crissy Ellison :to have faith. I mean, you do and and going back to SIDS and what happened. You had to lean up I had to lean in my face you You know, and in this situation, I think you have to lean on your faith in a huge way as well.
Tim Stout :It's hard to do and go to church all the time like we used to. Yeah.
Dallas Kelley :We still we haven't missed the mass.
Dwayne Ellison :I love her. We were walking while she was listening to it Sunday on, you know, we were listening to the live feed and she's singing along. And I'm listening to something else at the same time, and I was just laughing. I was like, I'm just glad we're not in church, but I can hear you say,
Tim Stout :I missed that part of it. I said that the last week. It's the biggest change for us is we? We can't hear people just like these people right here. Can't hear us tonight. We, we, we can't hear people. We're up at Cardon. So those those responses and stuff. Hey, we got any questions tonight?
Dallas Kelley :No, we got a couple of comments. I don't want to.
Tim Stout :This is the live aspect of okay. We would normally take phone calls but we've taken that plug out tonight. So if you You're going to think and you're going to get into college and you're not going to call it and I I wouldn't do that to you. Somebody might call and say something crazy or something so but
Dallas Kelley :anyway they wouldn't do that. They wanted to thank you too for all you do to let us honor our babies through your cause.
Unknown Speaker :very welcome.
Dallas Kelley :Very and then another one said the church should consider putting an info sheet in baptism most packets for the infants that you baptized, that's a good idea.
Tim Stout :Good idea. I can give those books. We know where to put them. Yeah, we're some baptism machines right?
Dwayne Ellison :spray some water.
Crissy Ellison :fatherland wiped the oil all over.
Dwayne Ellison :It took like a week ago. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker :The baptism Yeah.
Dwayne Ellison :Charlie's still stinks up.
Tim Stout :He's world renowned for that. I think
Dallas Kelley :we're probably the only church in the diocese that has to go back and get a second thing of plagiarism we go through five, five gallons of crude oil.
Dwayne Ellison :I love it. He rubs it around slap and every time you
Tim Stout :know, where did Where did you come into the church it? I came in after Finley. So you came through st. Johnson that's a guy
Dwayne Ellison :came in Josh came, so I didn't
Crissy Ellison :think he would ever convert me.
Dwayne Ellison :I don't need to do that, you know, I was like, you know, I'm about, you know, I got baptized when I was a grown up as a Baptist. And you know, and I was like, why would I convert? You know, the only reason I would do it would be for her and that's not the right reason to do it. You know?
Tim Stout :Exactly. Well, I'm glad to hear you say that Yeah, clip because some people that's the reason they do it,
Dwayne Ellison :I wasn't gonna do it just because it was the kind of the easy thing to do. I was just like, you know, I need to do it for the right reason. And I but I did kind of always feel a little left out at church, you know, like it was I was missing something or not being able to being involved. You know, not too many times. I involved myself where I shouldn't as far as volunteering and stuff like that. But I kept feeling like I can't help because I'm not really careful, you know, where I normally would just jump in all the time. And so I was always holding back. And after Finley died, you know, I'm sitting there watching our kids, I'm sitting, you know, all these wonderful people from our church trying to help us, and I can't help at church, or I can't help I can't be a part of the Knights of Columbus and all the wonderful things they do. And, and I made a decision that, you know, for me to be who I want to be, it was time for me to convert and go through that process. And I came to follow that and talk to him about it and actually really enjoyed, you know, going through the classes and actually understanding more of the Catholic faith that you know, that I really didn't understand and
Dallas Kelley :found out we didn't worship married like everybody.
Dwayne Ellison :There was so much that I didn't know even though I've been coming, coming to church pretty regular, but I didn't I didn't really understand why we did what we did or the internet. I still don't Understand as good as you know, a problem, maybe a cradle? I don't know.
Tim Stout :Yeah, converts are usually pretty much
Dallas Kelley :spot and my wife's a convert and she always says converts make the best Catholic convert back there. He's He's
Tim Stout :a gay Catholic too. They I mean, so basically people that grew up in our generation, we learned the faith by memorization, but we didn't really understand the faith behind the faith, the meaning behind the faith we were, we had nuns or somebody telling us what to do. That's why we did
Dwayne Ellison :and we've talked about that where I've, I studied about the Bible a lot and the stories in the Bible as a Baptist growing up as a kid and I love all those stories. You know, sometimes Chris, he doesn't know those as well as I do. And, and but I don't know why. You know, I don't understand the Eucharist as much you
Unknown Speaker :can't recite the prayers, the prayers.
Tim Stout :Well, we're gonna have to work on this. We need to work on that you need a cheat sheet, but we need to give them
Unknown Speaker :Catholic dummies.
Dwayne Ellison :A lot of things that end up with
Tim Stout :Hey, we do have a couple little things for you their father that vows, boy, yeah, well, one of you, we, we'd like to give our guest rosaries. But these aren't just regular rosaries. These are what we call rugged rosaries. Thank you. Your should be white. Christian. Make sure make sure it's yours. White. Yeah, it'll be the last rosary you ever need. It's a, it's built strong. It is. So kind of keeping in the theme of what we do here. And, you know, faith is such an important part, obviously, of our lives. And one of the things that we want to do with the show is, is to have people tell their story about their faith and obviously, your faith help get you through, you know, the hard time.
Crissy Ellison :Yeah, and people I hate to interrupt you. That's right. I'm sorry. But people always ask me. How did you ever ever get through that? And I always say, it was my faith in because he's like, you know, they want to blame God. They want to blame I'm sure you've heard this a lot and and I said no one never blamed God for this. I thank God for helping me get through it because without him and without prayer and the songs at church I don't know that I would have gotten through it so
Dwayne Ellison :I struggle the most is you know, I went back and forth on the blame. And I talked about this a little bit I got no it's it and you see the world today angers easy, you know, when things go wrong, anger is easy. And and I was quick to anger and and I really struggle with not blaming, you know, why would you give me this third shot that I wouldn't even try and to have and then taking away from me, you know, so there was a lot of wise and but then follow right up with that, you know, why are all these people being so wonderful to us at the same time, you know, we had so many angels that filled in right and behind that and it was like, I never could stay angry. Because I had all these little angels sent to me all the time. Trying to You know, kind of brush that, that that off, you know, and, and follow limbs like, you know, let it go. It's not God's issues, this is just beyond that type of situation and, and, you know, but that your faith and understanding of a bigger picture is what you always got to have in anything you're going to deal with it, you know, not just our situation but any situation whether it's COVID or all the, you know, racial racial issues that we're dealing with all the all the similar thing, you know, it comes back to your faith and, and whether or not you're quick to anger, quick love or somewhere in between. You
Tim Stout :gotta find the face of God and everything that you do, right. And even that even includes when and stuff you know, and your your lot of times we're carrying crosses, right, we've got burdens that we we sometimes feel or insert right I always wanted
Dwayne Ellison :to like blame myself. You know, I tried to blame myself a lot of things. You know, this is my fault because I wasn't good enough or I didn't get there quick enough and things like that. So
Fr. Linh Nguyen :Yeah, it's all part of that process of grieving. Right, right. Hey, by the way, you have a new donor, a CIT
Unknown Speaker :survivor. Excellent. Okay.
Fr. Linh Nguyen :And so you want to know about more about five cages text me, okay. It's awesome.
Tim Stout :He this is this is what he does in our shows right here. But he he's actually gonna get you all some money he has yet to get us
Fr. Linh Nguyen :this import found
Unknown Speaker :an easy, easy platform.
Dwayne Ellison :This is an easy platform to talk to. And it's a good platform and it's
Tim Stout :probably we need to have more of this now. Well, we do. That's a great segue. You just actually gave me my intro for next the next couple of weeks. So, next week on this show, we're gonna have father Danny Taylor. I'm sure you all heard a tailor made farms right? He's, he's the newest priest. The diocese likes 10 ordained in June so he's got a great guy tune in to hear about him. He is amazing. Man, I think he's gonna set the world on fire. You like him, don't you?
Dallas Kelley :Well, he's been baptized. He has
Tim Stout :been for us. Have you heard that story? This you don't know that story know how good we was gonna I was gonna get in the coffee. Okay, we'll do a card of it. I'll get to Dallas. Go ahead.
Dallas Kelley :Okay. There was a priest. Well, no, there was a person who thought he was a priest in the Diocese of Detroit. And the reason he wasn't a priest because he found out he was not validly baptized. So if you're not valid, be baptized, everything after that is everything. Everything is confirmation didn't happen. His his ordination didn't happen. So
Tim Stout :the deacon that was a Baptist Deacon or a deacon, he used the wrong words, the first word of the whole,
Dallas Kelley :you have to say, I baptize you in the name of, he said we, and it made his baptism, baptism invalid. So then you'll go up. He his father had a recording and he was watching out kind of the baptism that was when he was a little baby. So does that but that causes a whole just a whole yes what you're thinking
Unknown Speaker :did happen weddings and what?
Unknown Speaker :Well
Unknown Speaker :wedding
Dallas Kelley :anybody who baptized as a priest is valid, okay? Any Eucharist everybody for five years was receiving bread and wine. Then you get into confirmation every confirmation he did was invalid every confession he did was invalid. The marriages, there's still a discussion about that because deacons and priests can marry. But there is stipulation that somebody likes out in the mountains who can't get a deacon priest. They're given a special thing to marry. They're saying does he fall under that category? So there's a whole lot to still figure out
Unknown Speaker :where words matter, right?
Fr. Linh Nguyen :wars matter. Rome, Rome, it dispense right now so it should clean it up.
Dallas Kelley :So net but now he's a priest. And like in three or four days, they did all that poor guy. So he wasn't even Catholic,
Tim Stout :basically. So that's why they can Dallas wants to make sure that Father Danny Taylor is going to be on the show next week. And then in two weeks, we have I want to make sure I get this right. Dr. Ryan stat. I say that right. He is an ER doctor. He has multiple Facebook pages. He works at NASCAR too, I think, right, Steve NASCAR, he's gonna join us could probably talk about COVID stuff. He has some opinions on testing and different stuff. And he's a medical professional. So we'll maybe we'll take his word for it. I don't know if he works for the CDC or not. But anyway, we always try to do a face to face if you guys did a great job. Thank you. We appreciate y'all coming in. Come out today.
Dallas Kelley :We have the most view in at one time since we've been doing this so cool.
Tim Stout :We do a little thing at the end. Y'all just get to listen. It's the same of the day Steve, you ready for that? Father whose face dies today.
Unknown Speaker :Hippo Meister. That's right.
Tim Stout :St. Augustine, Augustine. You go to St. Augustine. We have st a Gustin. So today, here is today st of the day.
Unknown Speaker :This is Franciscan media saint of the day for August 28. Today we celebrate Santa Gustin, of hippo. A Gustin, is one of the most distinguished theologians in the history of the church and is the patron saint of theologians. Born in modern day Algeria in the middle of the fourth century, he was drawn to the life of the flesh as a young man, at age 17 or so. He took a concubine, then a common practice. Though he became a lawyer, a Gustin preferred the world of ideas, especially theology and philosophy. He moved to Rome, where he taught rhetoric. After trying out a strict religious sect. He found himself captivated by the sermons of the local Bishop, now known as St. Ambrose and by the writings of St. Paul and St. Athanasius. By age 33, a Gustin was a baptized Christian, and by 36, he was a priest. By 41 he'd become a bishop known for his special devotion to the poor. A Gustin his most famous theological writing is his confessions, which focus is in part on the nature of evil. The sinner turns saint, a doctor of the church who today is still acclaimed by some and condemned by others died in the year 430. There's more about the saints along with inspiration and Catholic resources at our website, st of the day.org from Franciscan media, this has been st of the day
Tim Stout :concubine
Dwayne Ellison :so that's what I don't know anything about as much this the saint but you should
Unknown Speaker :get his book, confessions City of God
Dwayne Ellison :the saints I don't know as well as the you know, the normal Bible stories or whatever so the saints are or something I struggle with history
Tim Stout :and I'm a history guy. I love this. So what would you recommend?
Dallas Kelley :A Man for All Seasons?
Fr. Linh Nguyen :Same stays, you know? They bet he'll roll wake up the faith. Right? You know, we all men to become St. Right? So when the church record I think so there's a real there's a chronically order how someone become a saint recognized by the church and oftentimes a lot of great story they we read about it the lives of the saints, we there's a book, let me find that for you. Okay, it's worth reading. on that particular thing of that day, you know, party in your prayer is open and read and something crazy about them.
Tim Stout :And what we just played is available on the website, Francis can be a saint of the de.org. It's a good way to kind of just check out things what's going on in the calendar every day. There's There's multiple sites every day, but they pick one thing.
Fr. Linh Nguyen :Just like, you know, listen to your story and know your life and the way you do things. You in the process of that sink making, let's say say if not oftentimes we we make same as the people, whether Halo no saint or sinful people. He
Tim Stout :had a Gustin had a concubine. Oh yeah.
Fr. Linh Nguyen :I focus on God as the redemption. Yeah. And that's what St. Oh a people that really sin before them all the time. His mother was a saint to Monica, that was just yesterday to pray for him for 34 years. But his conversion,
Unknown Speaker :thank you think about that.
Dallas Kelley :He had an illegitimate child and gave it up and then didn't even believe in God. And she praying
Tim Stout :Right, right. So there you go. Yeah, everybody could be a saying. Just got to work at it. So hey, I want to give a big thanks to you. Alistair letting us use this backer Yeah, awesome venue it is open like two weeks or a week before COVID they got to use it for a week and then it got shut down. So once this pandemic is over and the restrictions are lifted come out and support Galvin say been here for I think 12 years now. pillar in the community, family oh great food, great atmosphere and they got 40 beers on tap I think so. You know, as a Catholic that's always should have started with 40 beers on tap. Let's get a sampler so support the family foundation vinly 105 dot org 105 dot org. Sign up for the Finley five K and race fatherland virtually see who gets the better tab.
Fr. Linh Nguyen :I break all the time.
Tim Stout :He's got so far the lid sets a world record in five K's we'll have that story that'll be like your fishing report. It'll be the race report, the Finley five k race report by Father Lynn. I can see it now. So, hey, we appreciate everybody tuning in tonight. If you'd like what we're doing here, hit like button on Facebook. If you're on YouTube, hit the subscribe button. If you're listening to us on a podcast, whatever, you're listening to this on Apple with Spotify, I think Amazon has it now. We'll be out there. Yeah, we're on all those you guys will be on all that here in about 48 hours. So go in it, and it'll be really good to hear you can go back and listen to it. It'd be good. You know, like, why did I say that? But hey, if you're listening to us on that, hit like on there, subscribe to those. It just helps us know that what we're doing is what we should be doing so. And finally, a we're a ministry of the St. Francis and john Catholic Church, ss f j.org sf.org. You can support all your ministries and when you're not going to mass we still need your donations. So give virtually, but now wait a minute, give real real
Unknown Speaker :all through
Tim Stout :online online. Yeah, we don't want your virtual money. We want you to real So you can do that. Yeah, you can do that. And you could do it one time and it just happens. From then till you stop it. So until your friends are you ready to give a blessing? Sure.
Dallas Kelley :Maybe the pace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with everyone here And with your spirit. And May almighty God bless everyone, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen. Amen.
Tim Stout :Thank you all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Until next week.
Dallas Kelley :I'm taking Tim I'm Deacon Dallas by the name.
Tim Stout :Good night, everybody. Good night. Stop
Unknown Speaker :getting ready.
Unknown Speaker :I don't know a single thing. Thank you.
Unknown Speaker :When I see my heart starts racing